Monday, February 18, 2008

Vocal Rehearsals

Yesterday had a gruelling one hour vocal practise for my new album. Singing the same two songs over and over again till I get all the pitching, tempo, dynamics etc right. Some of us namely those who sings nightly with a band will probably be more at ease doing this but, this was tiring for me. Today I'm having a break, rehat seketika. More practise tomorrow and the day after coz I'll be going to the studio for recording this coming sunday. Hope I'm ready. Enough sleep, no smoking and cut down on the beer. Oohh..and loads of water. Hope it'll be a blast and I'll post the first single soon. Cheers.

Rottie Pups

Imagine having this many puppies!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Type Of Farts

Plain Jane. One-second duration, nice resonant reverberation, and pungent odor cloud with a nearly instantaneous 5-foot radius. Your standard, everyday, friendly fart.

Beefy One. Sounds loud and butch, e.g., 'BRAAAMMPPP!' Smells like a cross between a decaying meadow muffin on a hot day and a fresh dog-turd.

Eggy. Smells very much like rotten eggs (or hydrogen sulfide). A powerful odor which tends to put people off lunch. Often rips out in the fashion of a Bunbuster (see below).

Bunbuster. 'BRAAAP!' Sounds something like a Beefy One, except much more sudden and much more powerful. May smell either eggy or beefy. Leaves your asshole smarting. You really feel these babies.

Ripper. Sends seismic ripples to the next town. Rips the seams in the crotch of your pants. This fart genuinely hurts, and you can still feel it 20 minutes later. Anyone sitting nearby may experience hearing loss.

Diesel. Sputters to a start, but then keeps putt-putting along spewing out an endless cloud of dirty, noxious fumes.
Surprise! You didn't even know that it was there, but suddenly . . . 'BRRMP!'

Gunshot. Sounds just like a gunshot. Unbelievably loud indoors. Hard to believe that this emanates from between your buttocks. Bullet explodes into billions of virulent odor molecules. Gunshot farts are relatively rare but, like guns, very dangerous.

Squeaky. Puny and unsatisfying. Sounds a bit like a muffled 'Wheeeek,' but smells foul.

Worrier. The kind that seems to be a fart right up to the point at which you release it. At this stage, matters become less sure, as it feels too solid for comfort. You go to the bathroom and check your underpants at the first possible opportunity.

Poopie Prelude. It feels like it's going to be a large beefy one, but out comes a tiny little squeaker fart plus the head of something massive. You tense your buttocks fast, lest you give birth to the brown equivalent of a zeppelin.

Present. The type of fart that seems harmless, but then brings a small poop as a housewarming gift. You shuffle off to the toilet and give thanks you weren't in a business meeting or job interview when it happened. If you were, you're screwed.

Burble. Bubbly! Sometimes messy too.

SBD (Silent But Deadly). Totally inaudible but somehow causes all the occupants in a room to collapse. Smell is undefined because nasal investigators haven't had time to analyze the odor before passing out. (This one is also known as SBL: Silent But Lethal and Toxic Assassin.)

GNL (Gambled 'n' Lost). You take a gamble that it's going to be a fart and stay where you are, but tragically come to realize that this is much more than a fart... Next big gamble: do you put your underpants in the laundry basket and hope your wife won't notice, do you wash 'em out yourself, or do you throw 'em away?

Hydrated. The original wet fart, which leaves a mark on your pants and gives you a cold wet sticky sensation when you walk. Try to avoid this one if you're wearing white trousers.

Not Now Please! You feel the presence of a mighty fart but are unable to release it due to your situation (first date, new customer, important business meeting, etc.). You clench your buttocks together so hard you nearly have a stroke, and wait for the pressure to subside. Success depends upon a number of factors, but in the end you're probably going to have to face the music (literally). Or you can try the stealth approach (see below).

Who, Me? You let it out as silently as possible and nobody hears it. You discreetly take deep sniffs and smell nothing. You think you got away with it. But 30 seconds later, as if released from a stasis field, everybody starts to cough and splutter. You point to the person next to you and try to look innocent.

Waker-Upper. The first fart of the morning. All that broccoli, beans, and beer you had for dinner last night has decayed and fermented into about 1,000 ml of noxious gas just dying to escape from your rectum. Whether you let go under the covers when you first wake up or hold it until you're taking your early morning pee, releasing that first fart of the day feels oh, so good and sets the tone for the whole day.

Electrical. Sound like they have some juice in them.

Dutch Oven. A fart you make in bed -- any kind at all -- followed up by holding your partner's head under the bedclothes so that he/she can get the full effect of it. Good for moving a stalled divorce process along. Very bad early in your marriage.

Intelligence. To Tell Or Not To Tell?

I think and believe that everyone is nice. But recently I read certain blogs and found out a little more about people, trying my best not to judge them. That's the way they are. Regardless how much we want to tell them, they are wrong or you shouldn't say that or that is not right to judge people. But they have their rights too, right? OK, say a lady say something like "oh my god look at that woman. She is so fat and she is wearing a tight top and you could see all her flabs and folds. What on earth was she thinking?" And this lady herself is not thin. Hypocritical? There are people out there who consider themselves clever or intelligent and brags about it so much. I kept quiet. Most of us are nice. We know about it but we kept out gob shut. I mean, to me personally, if those people are so clever & intelligent (so they say), why do they have to discriminate, being degaratory towards others & top of all being hypocritical. Intelligence is defined as being the capacity to acquire & apply knowledge, the faculty of thought & reason. When we label people, discriminate them intentionally (when we write about them, that is intentional as we have digested and 'composed' these accumulated thoughts into written texts), then to me, these people are not that intelligent after all. They do not have the ability to evaluate, comprehend & to accept. Their lacking in abstract thought. But do you tell them? Do you tell people of whom you are acquainted, "hey you shouldn't say that or I believe what you wrote is not acceptable because look at you, aren't you being a hypocrite?" I suppose, it's better just to evaluate, comprehend, reason, adapt and accept the situation. Most of all, keep it to yourself (this is optional..hehehe). What say you? Lastly, here is a question: You are in an elevator and the guy in front of you farts. And mother of mercy!, the smell was definitely not aroma therapy. You feel like your eyes were gonna pop out, your lungs starting to fail, you get goose bumps, head suddenly gets heavy and dizzy. Now do you tell him "Hey man, can you not fart in an elevator next time. You stinky ass." Or hold your breath and press the button to the next floor and pray that your nose wouldn't fall off. Think about it, bye y'all....

Music news

Paula AbdulIt’s all about the comebacks! We’ve got Michael Jackson, New Kids on the Block, and Paula Abdul.

Although not live, Paula will be singing at the Superbowl this Sunday. Not only is she singing at the bowl, she’s planning on making a full blown come back with a new album.

Abdulmatic - her first release since 1995 is shooting to be released in the summer of this year. has comprised a list of the top ten grossing female musicians in 2007. Not surprisingly Madge took the #1 spot but surprisingly Barbara Streisand came in #2. She has an amazing voice but I didn’t even know that Barbara was still singing on a regular basis.

1. Madonna
$72 million
The ever-morphing singer still outsells artists half her age. She tops the Cash Queens list thanks largely to her record-breaking Confessions tour, plus income from album sales, an apparel line with retailer H&M and a deal with NBC to air concert footage

2. Barbra Streisand
$60 million
The 65-year-old legend, with 145 million albums sold worldwide to her credit, drew legions of die-hard fans to her short (and rare) concert series that wrapped in Europe last summer. Some tickets sold for upward of $1,000 apiece.

3. Celine Dion
$45 million
The Canadian diva's landmark Las Vegas concert drew some 3 million fans and grossed upward of $450 million during its five-year run, which ended in December.

4. Shakira
$38 million
The Colombian chanteuse shook her trademark hips from Mexico to India on a tireless tour that saw her perform 111 concerts before it was over.

5. Beyoncé
$27 million
The former Destiny's Child front woman is an endorsement darling, boasting deals with blue-chip brands like American Express, L'Oreal and Samsung. ...

Drunk & Say something stupid

I believe some of us have been here before..astaga! I went to Mesh's friend's BBQ and I had a wee bit too much to drink (7 cans of beer & God knows how much Chivas). Problem with me is that I talk too much when I get to that 'happy place'. At the end of the night I was told I started ejek2 (pick on) the hostess,. Poor Freda. I woke up almost noon, and a bloody hangover. Serve me right. I was told I called her bf 'shortie' and her 'fat'!! OMG! I was bitchin' about everyone else. What happened to me? I was a male 'Kimora Lee Simmons'..!! $#i@! I deserve to be shot.. Not on the head., maybe just on my arm..eee no! I need to play tennis, my legss...maybe not.. I guess a big mighty slap across the face. I was sooooo baaadddd. Have you ever been there? Too much to drink adn say all the stupid things? I'm regretting it so much that I invited them for high tea, on me. Freda was too gracious to say "it's ok, I was not annoyed". Bless her. Me?..My visa to hell has just been renewed! hahaha.. I do feel bad. I ended saying (repeatedly today) that "I'm skipping the booze for a while". Then guess what? I went out the next night to a bar... So much about will power. Useless!! Sounds familiar? Yeah, you've been there too. Good Night..

Friday, February 15, 2008

David oh david..

Why are David Beckham jokes always so simple?
So Posh can understand them.

Why did David fall out of the window?
He was ironing the curtain.

How do you keep David Beckham busy all day?
Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.

Why does Becks go outside when lightning starts?
He thinks someones taking his picture.

How do you make Becks laugh on a Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Monday

Improve Your Singing & Beer

hehhee.. ever wondered why you're singing badly.. here's a troubleshooting tip:

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted & out of tune.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

Hope this will help you. If it doesn't work,.try, try again.

Britney Married??

Britney apa bah ko buat ni.... What going on girl?.. When Britney Spears and Adnan Ghalib fled to Mexico last month, it wasn't just for the margaritas. Star has learned exclusively that their quickie vacation included a trip to the altar!

A source tells Star, "When Britney got out of the hospital the first time, Adnan talked her into going to Mexico to get married, saying that was the only way he could protect her." But Brit's paparazzo boytoy forgot to mention that he was still married to second wife AzLynn Berry! Oops!

Since the marriage wasn't legal, says an insider, Adnan is doing everything in his power to "worm his way back into her life, promising her that he'll get married again once his divorce is final." Britney's even put up cash to help speed the process!

"In all my years," said an insider, "I've never seen as big a dirtbag as this guy. I can't believe how he has taken advantage of this woman when she is in such a fragile state."

Friday, February 8, 2008

Long Dick

A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this...

'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.'

She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."

So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"

Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"

I'm Coming

Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating.

The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".

The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"

Naked Wedding

Ever wonder what it looks like to have a NAKED WEDDING? This is only happening in Japan!During the wedding banquet, both the Japanese bride and groom show up before the guests naked. Guests who attend their wedding can choose to wear clothes or to also be naked. A passionate Master of Ceremonies is usually also naked, while the bride and groom's parents and other seniors tend to be more traditional. Love to attend one of these..hehe? At least you would not have to worry about having to buy wedding outfits.


Reuters) A Russian woman set fire to her ex-husband’s penis as he sat naked watching television and drinking vodka, according to police. The attack climaxed three years of acrimonious enforced co-habitation. The couple divorced three years ago but continued to share a small flat, something common in Russia where property prices are very high.
“It was monstrously painful,” the wounded ex-husband told Tvoi Den newspaper. “I was burning like a torch. I don’t know what I did to deserve this.”
Asked if the man would make a full recovery, a police spokeswoman said that it was “difficult to predict”.

Island Trip

Once upon a time, someone decided to plan to go to the islands during chinese new year. I thought it was a great idea. I'm to old to go houses, visiting people and collect ang pows. Not that I don't mind it. But.. anyways. We started off early. I did the sandwich and Mesh got the drinks and his 'ikan masin'. Nice.. We arrived at Jesselton Point , jetty, at around 9:15am. The boat was supposed toleave (konon) at 9:30am. But..somehow or rather,.hah.. we were delayed up to 11am!!! Nevertheless, we had fun despite my not being able to swim because of my fresh tattoo (got it the day before). I've made few new friends.. sweet. Nah gambar..


Got another one..hehehehe.. Now I have 3. The tribal 'Seahorse', the Egyptian Eye Of Horus and a Phoenix. Now the latter came about because i need to cover the shoulder scars (surgery, remember..) Painful you are asking? Yup but it's not that excruciating. I believe that would be my last one..(hehehe i hope). Each tattoos symbolises some of my characteristics, beliefs or something I find some truth ,..oh whatever. The Seahorse came about because, saya takut laut! Yes, people, I was afraid of the sea. The seahorse to me symbolises movement, independence and loyalty..naahhh!! The Eye Of Horus, symbolises 'watch my back'. It is a symbol of protection & luck. The Eye of Horus statements created 6-term rounded off numbers. 1) Smell 2) Sight 3) Thought 4)Hearing 5) taste & 6) touch. The Pheonix (FengHuang) on the other hand, symbolizes virtue, foresight and devotion and was associated with the empress. The pheonix derived from the combination of the first two mythical pheonixes - the Feng which was male and Huang that was female - to symbolize a harmony of Yin and Yang. The pheonix carries with it eternal truths and is immortal -able to rise from the ashes of death. The pheonixwill only stay where there is just rule. The feathers of the pheonix are often depicted containing the five fundamental colors: black/blue, white, red, green and yellow that relate to the 'Five Elements'... Now you know...Gong Xi fa Chai


Ok guys..Most of you know that I play. But after the surgery on my collar bone, I haven't done much playing (in fact none) until 3 weeks ago. So i have just started playing back and guess who are playing now as well? Mesh & Gidong. Seriously these 2 guys have improved so much. Boleh tahan jugak! Chekc out their blogs.. mesti banyak gambar tu. Me on the other hand..hmm.. backhand still out of allignment. But given time..It should be alright. All for now on tennis. Nanti kamu boring dengar cerita sukan-sukan ni.. muuaahh

Tennis Quote From My Favourite Player

" I think about that sometimes - learning to play in a parking lot, stringing nets between cars. I learned to play by hitting against a brick wall, not a ball machine or other players. And my Father was my coach - teaching me from a twenty year-old book. When I hear people say that you can't make it in tennis if you don't have a lot of money, I know they're wrong. We didn't have much money. But I loved the sport and that was enough." - Monica Seles -

In Bed With Rex

In Bed With Rex
Hmm..daddys bed is so much better than mine..!

Hey Rex

Hey Rex
Aww..he was 3 months then..

Rex & Bobbi

Rex & Bobbi
Playtime..I like this caviar taste tennis ball..yumm.. Not. Goku stop scratching Rex's butt!

My Idols

My Idols
Whitney, Luther, Kylie & Monica

Just junior

Just junior
Me, Myself & I

The Doggies

The Doggies
Rex, Bobbi & Sisqo