How I Look Like?

Imagine that..me. I heard people calling me ugly before and I couldn't be bothered the least. But when I had a breakup last year, my perception towards my self image changed 360 degrees. I've started to believe that what they were saying all this time may have some truth in them. They are probably right. I have always been an avid photographer even during university. The man behind the lens was I and still am. I hardly enjoy getting my photos taken nowadays. I tend to avoid as much as I can. Can anyone get traumatised due to a broken relationship. I was left for someone better looking? And what about those heartless remarks made by people on ones appearance? I guess so. I never thought that I could be effected by it all. Blaming it on the fashion magazines doesn't help because we do know that most is not all are photoshopped to perfection. I am ugly..? The question mark may be inappropriate put in such sentence.

But realistically I don't consider myself goodlooking or even average looking as a matter of fact. I detest taking pictures of myself or anyone taking mine for that matter. I get too preoccupied of myself and where possible avoid it at all cost. Last weekend was probably the worst in many months. I was celebrating my friend's birthday and I am normally the one with the camera. However, this time, a friend brought his too. And next thing you know, I had few pictures taken. Did I have a choice you may ask? It's a friend's birthday so the photo is an inevitable one. I hope none is published in Facebook.

Do I envy some friends who I consider goodlooking? Yes I do, and even people walking down the street, or even those with good skin. I envy them. But do I want to rip the skin off their faces, the temptation has yet to come out of the closet. I'd rather it stays there. So, in the mean time, I guess I am neither Robert Pattison nor Brad Pitt. I'm stuck with this face,this skin.. live with it? Just as long as I am off the picture literally, I guess I will be just fine.