Understanding Friends

1:00 noon. I am still contemplating whether to take rice or something light today. I read an article saying that after a nice vacation, the 'feel good' feeling will resonate within you and stays there for at least 6 weeks. I must admit I had a great time in Manila last weekend with great friends. You get to know friends much better during holidays because I believe that the inhibitions are less and everyone wants to have fun. Hmm, my stomache's growling again second time in the last 20 minutes. Rice, noodles, buns.. we do this all the time don't we, not being able to choose what to eat.

Having said this, the weather is a bit too hot to handle nowadays so I might just sit in the office. Indecisiveness creeping in,..damn it. Oh Ok, i'll drive out and find something..anything. Like few people I know, they eat anything! I have one friend who has an uncanny ability to eat a lot of rice! 3 bowls at one session.! damn and he isn't that big at all. But where is he now.? I found out something really unexpected after I broke up with my ex. When we were together, we were always in this bunch of close friends who calls, text and go out for lunches, breakfasts, outings etc. However, after my ex cheated and betrayed me for one of our friends,..everyone has more affinity towards my ex. Oh yes, my ex is the more casual, fun, easy going type and i believe so am I. It has been 4 months now and nothing much changed.

I had an expectation that we you are a 'victim', you'll get more emotional support from your friends to get you going etc..those kind of bullshit. Am I bitter? Not so much now as I do know who my real friends after all. When you are down and out, initially they say its ok, you'll get through this. And then they shift to my ex and support the 'betrayer' more..and still are. Gone are the days of lunches, breakfasts, outings together. Hmm stomach still rumbling so I must eat. I guess I had too high of expectations on them afterall, we are friends for over 2 years. I must admit that they may also avoided inviting me, as my ex and the new love are in that group and they are trying to avoid confrontations and uneasiness. Well, I convince myself well enough.

My friend Jeff mentioned that Friends has No season,..but they do. Some anyway.. I don't have much expectations on friends nowadays. I had my share of betrayals by my so called best friend of 20 years. But I forgave him and his shortcomings regardless. I suppose that makes our lives a much more prolific and colorful in some rambling kinda sense. True and good friends are not complicated, I believe. They call you or text you just to say hi. To me, that is enough to justify a good friend. They care and remember.