The sky cloudy today. And me feeling rather melancholic. A lot of things have happened in my life in this short 2 months entering 2011. But what really attracted to me this
time around is Love. Yes, overrated to some
but important to most of us. But i
don't feel like talking about love directly but staying in love rather.
To feel the buzz when we first meet someone new is a wonderful thing. The feeling of euphoria, the feeling of happiness. We can't stop smiling even with just one text message from him/her. But if you are already in a relationship, that 'in love' feeling with slowly progress and evolve into something even more wonderful. Something intangible. You will lose the feeling of 'ar dear, i miss you, i love you, texting everyday, just one look and you feel like melting, you think of no one else but your loved one'. Indeed, you will lose that but love evolve into something even greater.
Most of all, being loved unconditionally. Let me ask you this, you mess up the bed coz you are a lazy bum and making the bed is hard work. After brushing your teeth, you came back to the bedroom and find the bed all made up. You come back from work tir
ed and you are greeted with a warm smile, a hug & dinner being cooked. It is your turn to throw the thrash or bathe your pet, but you are in no mood to do so. Ten minutes later, the thrash is out, the pet is clean and smelling good. Now, I tell you this.
Isn't this is better than being in love? Because, what you are experiencing is unconditional Love, showed by someone who truly cares & loves you. I can go on, and on, and on.
You now have, security, stability, respect, feeling of being owned, shareness, thoughtfulness and more but
Here is the thing though. Most of us thinking adults couldn't differentiate between the advantages/benefits of Love (sounds so business-like) and the highs of being in love. That's where unfaithfullness walks in. That awful bastard! hehehe. Some of us, would trade our stable Love life for that 'drug', the need to have a high in feeling 'in love'. On your left, you have:
1) Stable partner
2) Security
3) Pets (optional)
4) A wonderful home
5) A car
6) Holidays
7) Fond memories together
8) Fun times
9) Children (if you have)
..the list goes on.
And you are willing to throw all these away, just for the sake of 'being in love' with someone else? The evil 'Unfaithfullness' starts pumping things in your head. Someone starts smiling and showed a bit of interest at you. The demon asked you to follow his advise. "You like me? hahaha. Ya, ya..I have a partner but (you start lying) we are not that serious anymore. We have problems (you don't! what are you doing?). I didn't know you like me. Call me sometime ok?"
That unsuspecting admirer now gets a false picture, a picture that we are not happy, you have nothing, but most of all.. you are available. So she/he thinks that it is ok to keep texting you, calling you. Unsuspecting that all you want is sex & that 'in love' highs. The Unfaithfulness Demon, now runs the show. You have lost control and the lying continues. Why? Because you want that 'drug', that new highs, the new sex. The demon will drive you to the point where, you don't care how your partner feels, you don't care what you currently have. The demon planted a seed in your mind, saying "i have problems with my partner, she/he doesn't care much etc." The seed grows, you start to believe that there are problems when the truth is, it has been exaggerated. All you want right now, is the new girl/guy,..to have sex, to feel the new euphoria you have been missing. You will lie to kingdom come and show you care just to get your hands on her/his pants. It's so sad when this happens.
Back to the Love thing. I think it is important to really talk in a relationship. Read articles, understand what love & relationship is all about. Try not to forget who we really are and what we want from this relationship/marriage. To be loved and to love is greater than the feeling of being in love. Being in love, that feeling will fade over short time. It will eventually evolve.
If we care & love our partners enough, why trade that new feeling
for something stable and for sure? If it is sex, then talk. Spice up your life. Read books, magazines, articles, do it together! Stay grounded and humble.
Our culture here can be quite conservative as most of us are not brought up to communicate amongst each other. Do you talk and confide to your parents, the closest people to you, about your feelings, your needs, your aspirations? I bet you don't. But make a change in your relationship though. It may feel weird or out of your comfort zone but if you love one another enough, what is a 10 minute communication with someone you truly cares. Throw your ego away, sweep that 'I'm a man' attitude out of the door.
But most of all, appreciate one another. Go away on a nice spot and talk. There is no greater feeling than to feel appreciated. Don't forget, love is in you. Harness it, grow it, work it and there will be no greater feeling in this world than to Love & Be Loved unconditionally.
