It was in the month of May, hot & humid , just after the Kaamatan that I was informed that I will be taking care of Labuan branch. Was I ecstatic? I had mixed feelings to be honest. I did initially think that Labuan isn't that far from KK and I could commute on a weekly basis back to KK. But some organizational changes came about and I ended up being 'thrown' to Sandakan, the land of the orang utans. It was early July in 2006, when I made my first trip there, recalled the feeling of uncertainty and looking for a place to live. Near four years and 5 dogs later, I am still in Sandakan.
Sure, I have bought a house in KK, a nice one and recently renovated. But due to the breakup I had in November 2009, like a strong wind blowing across the table, pieces started to fall off the jigsaw puzzle and all came chrashing down. Picking up the pieces was the easy part but to put them back together piece by piece was not an easy task and mind up, involved so many emotional ups and downs. Eventually, last week,..the last piece of the puzzle was laid to rest right at the center of the puzzle. Did I eventually find peace of mind, am I finally happier and was there a sigh of huge relief? Definitely no. You might say, 'but you have the dogs to keep you company'. True they are a bundle of joy and bless them, they gave me, my weekend dosage of company and amusement..they are a funny lot with 5 different characters.
Living to me, gives me a better understanding of life. I would hope that my characters have become deeper and more rounded in personalities. I suppose life itself is a process, a stage where everyone holds a character. Now that I am older and wiser,..I take charge of my life better and see things on a broader range rather than see things that I wanted to see, that give me contentment and comfort. Fast forward,..here I am, looking for a new home for me and the dogs in Sandakan. Never did it came to mind that I'd be staying here 'permanently' after having to drive or fly to and fro for 4 long years. I have dreaded the thought of living in Sandakan and going through the weekends as I have experienced a couple of weekends grinding my teeth and praying that monday would come quickly. But then again, what was I doing? Look, it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness. True?
Sandakan,..the place where I will finally settle down. Wondering what will happen to my new house in Penampang? Well I'm renting it out, two rooms anyway as I am keeping my room as and when I'm in town which will be like once a month. Sandakan may not have the finest pubs or bars or places that I enjoy going to but with the dogs by my side, a great career and someone who loves me but at a far distant..am I complaining? Not at all, not anymore that is. I have a good life.. I'm grabbing the bull by its horns and enjoy the wild crazy ride life has to offer. So, I might fall but heck, I can always stand up and start flying high again. I'm going to do it the right way..more often , people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, more money in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. I think it actually works in reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.
Sandakan is a great town after all, I merely need to stop restricting and start opening up and see the beauty it has to offer. This is my home now.
