JUNIOR

Relationship. What Do I Know!

2012-01-28T12:10:00.003+08:00

It's 2012. In 1990 I had my first relationship which lasted for a long 8 years until we drifted apart amicably. But has changed? I wished relationship are like cellphones. It improves in time, gets more high tech, less hassle and user friendly. I think relationships, the whole concept of it never did change so much, ever!

We sometimes try to be tactful and diplomatic as we age but it takes two to tango. I may have evolved or change to be a better man in the whole relationship thing but when your partner is not in sync and has his or her own beliefs and rationale then it will just not work. Being in a relationship to me is like a career. You need to work on it everyday in order to reap its sweet fruit. Careerwise, you get money, financial support. In relationships, you get emotional stability, security, emotional support, love and sex. I think no matter how hard you try to be a better person and make things work, if the other half thinks otherwise and does not go into the same wavelength as you are then it is going to be a losing battle. Wait let me rephrase that, a losing effort. Relationships is all about efforts. Some have to make bigger efforts to make it work, some fortunate soul makes a little and voila, all is great.

In my case, when you are in a long distance relationship, paranoia comes into play. Yes i was naughty in my past when i was single and enjoying life on my own. People tends to bring back the past, the long lost uneventful history into the now. And what do you get? Heartaches & headaches. Sigh... I am trying to be accepting too. It is sometimes a struggle if the words you are thrown at are just painful sometimes. I am a man, a grown man so I have to accept them. Take it like a man. But men have feelings too. It's so intriguing when one minute everything is sweet and lovey dovey. And next thing your partner throws in a mind boggling text message and changes things. I am an uncomplicated guy who lives in a simple life. When you have texted I love yous and I miss yous, aren't those enough for the day? I guess to some it is not. Those words need to be said and texted more than once a day, otherwise you are deemed as being not a good lover.

I am struggling to keep up being up to standard. But being a busy guy, I believe texting one 'love you' a day will suffice. Your partner needs to understand that otherwise it will just turn nasty. She/he wants at least 3-4 times a day. Is that paranoia? Is that low esteem? I'm not too sure but it is bugging me. Right now, I'll just carry on moving forward to the best ability.

We Forget or We Just Don't Care

2011-02-25T09:11:00.010+08:00

The sky cloudy today. And me feeling rather melancholic. A lot of things have happened in my life in this short 2 months entering 2011. But what really attracted to me this

time around is Love. Yes, overrated to some

but important to most of us. But i

don't feel like talking about love directly but staying in love rather.

To feel the buzz when we first meet someone new is a wonderful thing. The feeling of euphoria, the feeling of happiness. We can't stop smiling even with just one text message from him/her. But if you are already in a relationship, that 'in love' feeling with slowly progress and evolve into something even more wonderful. Something intangible. You will lose the feeling of 'ar dear, i miss you, i love you, texting everyday, just one look and you feel like melting, you think of no one else but your loved one'. Indeed, you will lose that but love evolve into something even greater.

Most of all, being loved unconditionally. Let me ask you this, you mess up the bed coz you are a lazy bum and making the bed is hard work. After brushing your teeth, you came back to the bedroom and find the bed all made up. You come back from work tir

ed and you are greeted with a warm smile, a hug & dinner being cooked. It is your turn to throw the thrash or bathe your pet, but you are in no mood to do so. Ten minutes later, the thrash is out, the pet is clean and smelling good. Now, I tell you this.

Isn't this is better than being in love? Because, what you are experiencing is unconditional Love, showed by someone who truly cares & loves you. I can go on, and on, and on.

You now have, security, stability, respect, feeling of being owned, shareness, thoughtfulness and more but

Here is the thing though. Most of us thinking adults couldn't differentiate between the advantages/benefits of Love (sounds so business-like) and the highs of being in love. That's where unfaithfullness walks in. That awful bastard! hehehe. Some of us, would trade our stable Love life for that 'drug', the need to have a high in feeling 'in love'. On your left, you have:

1) Stable partner

2) Security

3) Pets (optional)

4) A wonderful home

5) A car

6) Holidays

7) Fond memories together

8) Fun times

9) Children (if you have)

..the list goes on.

And you are willing to throw all these away, just for the sake of 'being in love' with someone else? The evil 'Unfaithfullness' starts pumping things in your head. Someone starts smiling and showed a bit of interest at you. The demon asked you to follow his advise. "You like me? hahaha. Ya, ya..I have a partner but (you start lying) we are not that serious anymore. We have problems (you don't! what are you doing?). I didn't know you like me. Call me sometime ok?"

That unsuspecting admirer now gets a false picture, a picture that we are not happy, you have nothing, but most of all.. you are available. So she/he thinks that it is ok to keep texting you, calling you. Unsuspecting that all you want is sex & that 'in love' highs. The Unfaithfulness Demon, now runs the show. You have lost control and the lying continues. Why? Because you want that 'drug', that new highs, the new sex. The demon will drive you to the point where, you don't care how your partner feels, you don't care what you currently have. The demon planted a seed in your mind, saying "i have problems with my partner, she/he doesn't care much etc." The seed grows, you start to believe that there are problems when the truth is, it has been exaggerated. All you want right now, is the new girl/guy,..to have sex, to feel the new euphoria you have been missing. You will lie to kingdom come and show you care just to get your hands on her/his pants. It's so sad when this happens.

Back to the Love thing. I think it is important to really talk in a relationship. Read articles, understand what love & relationship is all about. Try not to forget who we really are and what we want from this relationship/marriage. To be loved and to love is greater than the feeling of being in love. Being in love, that feeling will fade over short time. It will eventually evolve.

If we care & love our partners enough, why trade that new feeling

for something stable and for sure? If it is sex, then talk. Spice up your life. Read books, magazines, articles, do it together! Stay grounded and humble.

Our culture here can be quite conservative as most of us are not brought up to communicate amongst each other. Do you talk and confide to your parents, the closest people to you, about your feelings, your needs, your aspirations? I bet you don't. But make a change in your relationship though. It may feel weird or out of your comfort zone but if you love one another enough, what is a 10 minute communication with someone you truly cares. Throw your ego away, sweep that 'I'm a man' attitude out of the door.

But most of all, appreciate one another. Go away on a nice spot and talk. There is no greater feeling than to feel appreciated. Don't forget, love is in you. Harness it, grow it, work it and there will be no greater feeling in this world than to Love & Be Loved unconditionally.

Rest in Peace My Big Boy

2010-12-26T10:02:00.006+08:00

Sleep Well Rocky. Sept 2008 - 25 Dec 2010, he was two. It's never easy and never will be when you lose someone, in my case my dog, labrador retriever Rocky. First thing I noticed is that the house is too quiet. I miss him whining to go out for a pee, wanting to play..sob, sob.. Love you Rocks. Now you have wings, and guarding the gates of Heaven.

Responsible Me

2010-12-14T11:06:00.002+08:00

Not bad for tuesday. I have tonnes of documents to sign today, an accummulation of 1 day out of office piled up. I should not complain i guess, and don't get me wrong I'm not. It's a great thing to have something to do and keeps you busy at most times. Not that I am nursing a broken heart or something but merely keeping abreast of work.

After coming back from Manila, I've realised something I was thinking all along. The many times I have visited Manila, I was always attached, having a partner. And this time around, I am single (including the february trip). It's kinda cool to be single again for a while..and maybe that's the kind of life I want to be in, at the moment. I'm not pushing aside the dating game but i must keep them informed on what my needs are. It's highly irresponsible if you do not let your dates know that you are only there for the company and nothing more.

Unfortunately, I guess, there will be people out there whom I date, will eventually fall for me. I guess I'm not a bad guy. I'm fun to be with and accommodating in most situations. Now is that fair? Am I leading them on? Only if I do not tell them prior to the date that I was not looking for a relationship. But does that make me a bad guy? Maybe I am, but I cannot help it. I'm not ready to love & be loved. Reminiscing teh pain I have gone through, believe you me, I am not ready to get back into the bandwagon. Not for a while though.. But then again, it's good to have a bench mark. So, I am setting really high standards now. If I don't get the partner of my dream, then so be it..my loss.

This Used To Be My Playground Part 2

2010-11-17T22:04:00.004+08:00

"Mommy these bricks are heavy" I said. I was carrying 3 bricks from the old house to the new house we were building. Several months later the house was completed. We were ecstatic. There were four of us kids now, my elder sister Grace, me, little sister Maria and the baby Adalita. I remembered mom & dad worked really hard doing the house. But it was cool coz the house is finally done. I got a small room. My sisters got the bigger room. We had a bigger kitchen, bigger house. It was grand! I was 5.

Then i got enrolled to St.Francis Kindergarten at the age of 5. I remembered when dad left, I screamed and cried and climbed the fence. A teacher tried to pull me off the fence. Aahh, I remembered that. But the very next day i couldn't wait to go to school. I love those plastercines. And i was quite the ladies man. I remembered kissing a girl or two. And those girls loved me. hahaha..must be my puppy dog eyes at that time. Now.. i wondered what happened to these girls.

At 6 I was enrolled to Sacred Heart Primary school. Darjah 1 Hijau. I remembered those wooden chairs & desk, damn small. I couldn't believe it when I visited my old school 2 years ago, and went to my old classroom. I was so small. I was at Sacred Heart Primary till I was at standard 6. I had a blast. I even started taking the bus home from standard 3. We were really independent kids back then. I bet my sisters would never let their kids take the bus. I did a lot of sports in primary school, and loads of fighting during recess time. We always have a 'fight' with the class 6 Merah. It went on from standard 5 to 6. I just love fighting I guess. Those days lunch was fried mee hoon and tow foo. It was around 50 cents only. What can you get at that price now? hehehehe.. Life was good.

This Used To Be My Playground Part 1

2010-11-11T11:11:00.009+08:00

I used to love the sound of the raindrops on our zinc roof at Papar. I still do, maybe a reminisce of my childhood. I was probably 3 years old that time. Life was very hard. My dad worked hard to support his mestiza wife and two kids, my elder sister and me. Mom was pregnant carrying my sister Maria. Living in an old delipidated house, I remembered playing with our neighbours kids at the back of our wooden house. Mom was busy selling peanuts and watermelon to school children passing by our house. We were very poor. My four year old sister tried her best sealing the peanut filled plastic bag by burning the edges with a candle. My tiny hands couldn't coordinate well as I got burnt few times. Mom, wouldn't let me do it, so I resorted on playing football or throwing stuffs with my neighbours. We didn't have enough sometimes, that my dad would take me fishing by the river, Buang Sayang, I think. Yeah, we have dinner! That was all that could remember other than fall on my mouth once playing at the back of the kitchen where it had an open space. I would spread talcum powder all over and start sliding or 'skating' on the wooden floor with the neighbours kids. I had fun till i fell and broke my front tooth. Mom was not happy. She was the disciplinarian.

I remembered my dad driving a Fiat, EJB368. I loved that car coz I get to sit in front with that bench type seat. Dad used to put me on his lap when he drives and me pretending to drive that old Fiat. The steering wheel was thinner than those we have today. Then one day we moved to Kampung Dabak Penampang, my dad's kampong. We stayed in this way cooler wooden house, with large wooden windows. It was really exciting when we moved in. Mom started planting plants in Milo tins where she would put along the 4-5 steps staircase. I remembered food was enough, just enough. I remembered having fish 'basung' for lunch, some vegetables because that was all we could afford. Nevertheless mom always gets us really nice clothes. My sister Grace was always in this bareback dress. I seemed to recall, that's all she ever wore most of the time. I was always in little cute white singlets and shorts. Mom always insisted me wearing pyjamas at night with my little white shirt. One day though, my mom saw my 'talent' in sliding, so she made use of that so called skill to polish the floor using coconut husk. Initally I was so excited, I was sliding the husk , polishing the wooden floor enthusiastically. Then one day, I started to dread that task. But I had a wonderful childhood then. Then came my sister Maria, we call her Lulu. My sister & I took turns on the bouncy net to put her to slip. I sometimes fell asleep on the floor before she did.

As life was tough then, mom taught my sister and myself to cook, boil water using charcoal & firewood. I'm telling you it's exciting stuff! Then one fine day, I remembered mom got my sister dressed up and me too, as we were celebrating her birthday. The kampong kids started coming, I was busy playing with my aeroplane. I remembered her calling me, to sing happy birthday to my sister. I think she was four, in her brown floral bareback again. Having a cake was like winning the lottery then. Mom was more excited than us. She boiled some red coloured eggs. We hardly have them anymore I guess. The little party burst into full gear when us kids start screaming and playing. Mom told me not to start fighting with my sister, as we fight all the time.

We were poor then, but mom taught us about being happy to what we have. Was it a hard life? It was but we were happy until...

RESOLUTION

2010-11-09T00:13:00.002+08:00

I have just finished, finally, arranged one of my songs to be included in my Engliah album. Me & Ben(my younger brother) completed it tonight after he made tortilla. Aahh, good to have a chef at home.

Resolution - this song is about people having to go through life changes and making resolutions to be better or do this they have not dreamed of doing. Its a dance track of which I am in the midst of negotiating with some dancers. Will be meeting them tomorrow and let them listen to the track. I will be performing this song hopefully, at the Miss Universe 2010 pageant at Beverly Hotel, kota Kinabalu in conjunction to the World AIDS day. Yup I'm doing this for free but heck, I get free publicity too. Ain't that bad though.

Need to get my dance routine ready by this weekend. I have 3 weeks to practise the dance routine which I hope would be fantastic! Fingers crossed.

What's Gonna Happen in 12 months Time

2010-11-08T00:43:00.002+08:00

Let's see

22nd Nov 2010 - Launch Mr.Kaamatan 2010, 2011 Calendar

23rd Nov 2010 - Scuba Diving at Sapi Island

27th Nov 2010 - Calendar Photoshoot with Miss Universe 2010 at Mamutik Island

4th Dec 2010 - Miss Universe 2010 at Beverly Hotel

Preview of my new single during the event.

17th Dec 2010 - Launch Ms Universe Calendar 2011

18th Dec 2010 - Scuba Diving at Sapi island

24th Dec 2010 - Christmas with Family

25th Dec 2010 - Christmas overseas

30th Dec 2010 - Wedding photoshoot

10th Jan 2011 - KL Photoshoot

24th Feb 2011 - Taipei, Taiwan trip

9th March 2011 - Photoshoot, Mr Gay World. Manila (hmm interesting stuff).

April 2011 - Holiday somewhere exotic

27 May 2011 - Melbourne, Australia

June 2011 - Mr.Kaamatan 2011

July 2011 - No Plans

August 2011 - Bangkok

Sept 2011 - Nope nothing

Oct 2011 - Nope nothing too

Nov 2011 - No plans

Dec 2011 - Egyptian Holiday

We Do Need To Change

2010-11-08T00:23:00.003+08:00

"I love you just the way you are". "I love you for who you are". Heard this before? To me personally, I find this statement overrated. I believe that change is sometimes good if it is a positive one. There is nothing wrong in changing ourselves. I do not believe in staying stagnant, refuse to change oneselves for betterment.

When we have a traumatic breakup, most times, we as human beings would make references to the past, reliving the chapters of the past and make comparisons. Now, I do this or let me rephrase it, I did it. A change is inevitable. Attitude towards a future relationship changes. Your perception changes. How you look and assess a new partner changes as well. I for one am more careful. I do not fall in love easily. It'll take me months before I could say the word I love you, and mean it. And now, it'll probably take even longer I guess. Fundamentally I am still the easy going, goofy, honest guy that everyone knows. However when it comes to the matters of the heart, then I have changed, not that much but enough for myself to notice. Don't get me wrong though. I have changed in a good positive way. I try, yup try to look at people's best characters. And try to learn to understand their negative traits more. That way, I am able to accept them eagerly and who knows eventually love them.

But till then, I am learning still but I am a believer in change and progress. I want to be a less bitter person and less competitive and most of all being judgmental. Is there any hope, then I hope there is. We do need to change.

I COULDN'T SLEEP

2010-10-28T01:42:00.002+08:00

1:43am 28th Oct 2010. The only thing that is accompanying me other than my notebook isthe sound of the ceiling fan put on number 4. It is a warm night I must say. Nothing on but my light green checkered boxers. Normally, I would be asleep by now but somehow I am just not sleeping. Yawning my way through this post, I have nothing much in mind really. Nope, no problems at work. Neither do I have much of a personal problem lingering in my near inactive head nor do I suffer from insomnia, I do hope not. Maybe it's just one of those nights where, well, I just am not dozing of to zzzland.

This is probably a desperate attempt to make myself yawn enough, to hit my sleep button. I'd normally would just laze around the bed, rolling to every side of my queen size bed and eventually hit the sleep button. Don't we just wished we have the snooze, hibernate button. Sleep JR, sleep.. Working yet? Nope. I probably have a lot on my mind lately, subconsciously i am not so aware off. Or who am I kidding. I do. It's one of those time in your life where your decision will have a huge repercussion on another individual's life other than yours. They say it's cruel to be kind or it's kind to be cruel or what the heck! I can't think straight. Let's just say, I am planning to make a decision that may alter my present life and move to another chapter.

Start counting sheep JR. Backwards I was told. If I could only detach myself for a mere minute, I could probably get close enough to hit that elusive sleep button, for tonight anyway. Know what, a couple glasses of red wine would probably help. Naahh,..I'll stop here and get myself rolling all over the bed now. I'm sure to hit that sleep button soon enough. Here goes....

What's That Ice Cream Flavour?

2010-10-21T11:53:00.004+08:00

Having tonnes of documents to sign, I reluctantly pushed my notebook away just to have these "bundles of joy" cleared. Nevertheless, there are things on my mind that keep playing over and over again like an old broken gramaphone. Do one really need to be in love to be in a relationship? Or do people really start out as friends and jumped into a relationship and slowly, like a tide, falls into romance?

Maybe when I had that traumatic break up last year, being in the receiving end of 3 broken relationships all due to betrayals, I am probably now too afraid of being in love. Maybe the fear of getting hurt again is just to pronounce. Sometimes in many lonely nights, that fear resonants and I just can't help feeling empty as the loneliness crept to my veins. Some days I feel like running away from it all, running aimlessly in the woods hopping the big bad wolf would gobble me up in his big tum-tum. Some days the butterflies in my stomach wouldn't stop moving, making me feel like regurgitating.

Where am I going now, sometimes I asked myself? I am happier than I was few months back, though. Yup, though. Immersing myself in the depth of these bundles of joy, work.. sometimes helps me to get these things off my head. I feel like the synapses of my brain are working overtime, shooting information at warp speed. I just don't feel right. Have you ever had an ice cream and tried to identify the flavour but you just can't? It tastes like vanilla but its not. Its not corn but it has a caramel taste. Its like that. I am contended but I can't figure out contended of what. And there are times, I wanted more ice cream to really identify their tastes to be sure. What's that ice cream's flavour? Get me?

When we are in a relationship, especially when it has just begun. Remember the adrenaline rush? The drug-like feeling (of course have not tried that) but that rush? The feeling of emptiness when you don't see your loved one. That burst of happiness you feel when you see him/her passing by the corridor. The wide smile you have when you get sweet text messages from them. I don't get those. I think I may have lost that 'in love' feeling. There's a void inside that I am yearning to fill up, however, I just can't put my finger on it.

I'd better get back to work. Relationships are great but so damn confusing sometimes. I need to get myself sorted out. Where's the Guiness!

How I Look Like?

2010-09-13T23:44:00.003+08:00

Imagine that..me. I heard people calling me ugly before and I couldn't be bothered the least. But when I had a breakup last year, my perception towards my self image changed 360 degrees. I've started to believe that what they were saying all this time may have some truth in them. They are probably right. I have always been an avid photographer even during university. The man behind the lens was I and still am. I hardly enjoy getting my photos taken nowadays. I tend to avoid as much as I can. Can anyone get traumatised due to a broken relationship. I was left for someone better looking? And what about those heartless remarks made by people on ones appearance? I guess so. I never thought that I could be effected by it all. Blaming it on the fashion magazines doesn't help because we do know that most is not all are photoshopped to perfection. I am ugly..? The question mark may be inappropriate put in such sentence.

But realistically I don't consider myself goodlooking or even average looking as a matter of fact. I detest taking pictures of myself or anyone taking mine for that matter. I get too preoccupied of myself and where possible avoid it at all cost. Last weekend was probably the worst in many months. I was celebrating my friend's birthday and I am normally the one with the camera. However, this time, a friend brought his too. And next thing you know, I had few pictures taken. Did I have a choice you may ask? It's a friend's birthday so the photo is an inevitable one. I hope none is published in Facebook.

Do I envy some friends who I consider goodlooking? Yes I do, and even people walking down the street, or even those with good skin. I envy them. But do I want to rip the skin off their faces, the temptation has yet to come out of the closet. I'd rather it stays there. So, in the mean time, I guess I am neither Robert Pattison nor Brad Pitt. I'm stuck with this face,this skin.. live with it? Just as long as I am off the picture literally, I guess I will be just fine.

OH SANDAKAN!

2010-04-28T11:43:00.006+08:00

It was in the month of May, hot & humid , just after the Kaamatan that I was informed that I will be taking care of Labuan branch. Was I ecstatic? I had mixed feelings to be honest. I did initially think that Labuan isn't that far from KK and I could commute on a weekly basis back to KK. But some organizational changes came about and I ended up being 'thrown' to Sandakan, the land of the orang utans. It was early July in 2006, when I made my first trip there, recalled the feeling of uncertainty and looking for a place to live. Near four years and 5 dogs later, I am still in Sandakan.

Sure, I have bought a house in KK, a nice one and recently renovated. But due to the breakup I had in November 2009, like a strong wind blowing across the table, pieces started to fall off the jigsaw puzzle and all came chrashing down. Picking up the pieces was the easy part but to put them back together piece by piece was not an easy task and mind up, involved so many emotional ups and downs. Eventually, last week,..the last piece of the puzzle was laid to rest right at the center of the puzzle. Did I eventually find peace of mind, am I finally happier and was there a sigh of huge relief? Definitely no. You might say, 'but you have the dogs to keep you company'. True they are a bundle of joy and bless them, they gave me, my weekend dosage of company and amusement..they are a funny lot with 5 different characters.

Living to me, gives me a better understanding of life. I would hope that my characters have become deeper and more rounded in personalities. I suppose life itself is a process, a stage where everyone holds a character. Now that I am older and wiser,..I take charge of my life better and see things on a broader range rather than see things that I wanted to see, that give me contentment and comfort. Fast forward,..here I am, looking for a new home for me and the dogs in Sandakan. Never did it came to mind that I'd be staying here 'permanently' after having to drive or fly to and fro for 4 long years. I have dreaded the thought of living in Sandakan and going through the weekends as I have experienced a couple of weekends grinding my teeth and praying that monday would come quickly. But then again, what was I doing? Look, it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness. True?

Sandakan,..the place where I will finally settle down. Wondering what will happen to my new house in Penampang? Well I'm renting it out, two rooms anyway as I am keeping my room as and when I'm in town which will be like once a month. Sandakan may not have the finest pubs or bars or places that I enjoy going to but with the dogs by my side, a great career and someone who loves me but at a far distant..am I complaining? Not at all, not anymore that is. I have a good life.. I'm grabbing the bull by its horns and enjoy the wild crazy ride life has to offer. So, I might fall but heck, I can always stand up and start flying high again. I'm going to do it the right way..more often , people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, more money in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. I think it actually works in reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.

Sandakan is a great town after all, I merely need to stop restricting and start opening up and see the beauty it has to offer. This is my home now.

WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR?

2010-03-17T19:42:00.003+08:00

I don't know.. I guess companionship. I good friend of mine said that I am a relationship kinda guy. I've have never been single since 2001. I even forgot how to date..scary. But now that I have truly moved on and dating again, I am beginning to enjoy the single life. I couldn't believe the number of people who actually fancy me! I have 2 proposals, as in to be in a committed relationship. It sounded great initially, but I asked myself just one time, yup just the one.. I think I'd give it a pass ..for now. Maybe I haven't met the right one yet.

Nevertheless, I do believe that I am actually enjoying myself without that 'tied down' feeling. You know when you are in a relationship and the 'reporting' of your whereabouts, your activities. I guess I'm not gonna miss that for now. So far from what my friend Max's statement,..love this guy, he's so funny. Sorry to disappoint you Max but frankly speaking I'm enjoying what I'm doing now..living my life to the fullest and smelling as many flowers as I can.. Bliss!

Understanding Friends

2010-03-02T12:46:00.002+08:00

1:00 noon. I am still contemplating whether to take rice or something light today. I read an article saying that after a nice vacation, the 'feel good' feeling will resonate within you and stays there for at least 6 weeks. I must admit I had a great time in Manila last weekend with great friends. You get to know friends much better during holidays because I believe that the inhibitions are less and everyone wants to have fun. Hmm, my stomache's growling again second time in the last 20 minutes. Rice, noodles, buns.. we do this all the time don't we, not being able to choose what to eat.

Having said this, the weather is a bit too hot to handle nowadays so I might just sit in the office. Indecisiveness creeping in,..damn it. Oh Ok, i'll drive out and find something..anything. Like few people I know, they eat anything! I have one friend who has an uncanny ability to eat a lot of rice! 3 bowls at one session.! damn and he isn't that big at all. But where is he now.? I found out something really unexpected after I broke up with my ex. When we were together, we were always in this bunch of close friends who calls, text and go out for lunches, breakfasts, outings etc. However, after my ex cheated and betrayed me for one of our friends,..everyone has more affinity towards my ex. Oh yes, my ex is the more casual, fun, easy going type and i believe so am I. It has been 4 months now and nothing much changed.

I had an expectation that we you are a 'victim', you'll get more emotional support from your friends to get you going etc..those kind of bullshit. Am I bitter? Not so much now as I do know who my real friends after all. When you are down and out, initially they say its ok, you'll get through this. And then they shift to my ex and support the 'betrayer' more..and still are. Gone are the days of lunches, breakfasts, outings together. Hmm stomach still rumbling so I must eat. I guess I had too high of expectations on them afterall, we are friends for over 2 years. I must admit that they may also avoided inviting me, as my ex and the new love are in that group and they are trying to avoid confrontations and uneasiness. Well, I convince myself well enough.

My friend Jeff mentioned that Friends has No season,..but they do. Some anyway.. I don't have much expectations on friends nowadays. I had my share of betrayals by my so called best friend of 20 years. But I forgave him and his shortcomings regardless. I suppose that makes our lives a much more prolific and colorful in some rambling kinda sense. True and good friends are not complicated, I believe. They call you or text you just to say hi. To me, that is enough to justify a good friend. They care and remember.

MY CHRISTMAS TREE

2009-12-16T10:32:00.008+08:00

Oh yeah, christmas is just around the corner and everyone's busy with stuffs like,booking their flights back home town, buying christmas presents, planning which church to go to etc. I myself am picking up the pieces of a broken heart. And I must admit I am doing quite well.

I have started dating again and its kinda funny but somehow or rather one or two gave me the vibes. Ssshh..we don't kiss and tell who. So, I am going to spend more time with friends this Christmas and New Year but then again, I have always been even when I was attached. The love we get from friends is different but nevertheless genuine and honest..I'll take it any day. This year, I am planning to give more..

Here I am sitting comfortably in my own office, looking out at the window. Sounds of pitter patter on the window, as it drizzles so lightly. So, I am blessed with a great job & good pay but I do feel sometimes that even my close friends think I grew up with a silver spoon in my mouth. Contrary to that, I was brought up very poor. We never had a christmas tree or celebration of that sort until I was in my teens. Even then we didnt have presents just empty boxes and a dead tree from last year. We had eggs, boiled chicken & kangkong for Christmas dinner. But we were happy. I remembered when I was three, we lived in Papar in an old shack, where you can literally see through the floor and bamboo walls. I never knew what Christmas was. We sold melons and peanuts to school children passing though our old house. And when we moved to Kg.Dabak, Penampang, our home was slightly upgraded to a 2 bedroom wooden house. I remembered putting cotton on plants imagining it was a christmas tree. There weren't any presents but I remembered my mom slaughtering a chicken and we had chicken for Christmas. Dad was only making $700 a month with 4 mouths to feed.

Those days are gone but still a vivid & pleasant, yes,pleasant memory. Years later, I studied hard and got good grades and furthered my studies to UITM and then to Liverpool,UK. I worked hard since then and I am blessed because I am here now and thank Lord Jesus for his blessings. Under my Christmas tree this year, I have presents to give,..a bit of possessions to give to those who truly deserve it. I have love, and I will give to those who truly wants my heart and expect nothing in return. And my warmest wish to all a wonderful peaceful Christmas. God Bless.

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL..

THE PUB, THE SUNSET & THE CLOSURE

2009-11-11T09:16:00.004+08:00

Sometimes we take life for granted. And in my case I probably did. It is true that love hurts and most time it hurts badly. I initially couldn't even register what went wrong when this were doing well. Then I realised that it was not me. Love is gone. It's a great feeling the way how we first met & talked. Never realising that it was the beginning of a beautiful 3 year relationship. I remembered every single moments that we had shared, places gone, things done together. The other great thing was that there weren't any constant bickerings. Yeah sure there were small misagreement but even that lasted longest 30minutes. 5 arguments we had in 3 years. Was that the reason why a relationship ends? There were questions in the initial part of the separation but eventually I stopped asking.

Nevertheless, I finally let go. We do not own people, their minds, their choices in life. We merely choose to live and be with them, sharing experiences and intimate moments. We had our Kalansanan, Mansau, Manila, Cebu, scuba diving, birthday in Sipadan. We had our sunset framed, we had kids whom we love. We have friends most of all. I had two choices. To leave and leave everything behind and changes everything or to remain friends and respect ones decision, to love someone else. Sure, i will never receive text messages at 6:30am to wake me up for work, messages saying 'mahal kita', simple messages like 'don't forget to eat'..those are the things that I have to accept,..gone. Will I miss those simple gestures, simple texts? I definitely will.

I am too tired to find another love. It's to time tasking & I am not going any younger. I have given up on love coz love has given up on me. I simply have to move on with my life alone along a journey that I am looking forward to. Although everywhere I go, everything I see will reminisce the times we were together. I know myself well. This chapter in my life is finally closed and shelved. I will always love you for as long as the waves still hit the shore, as long as there is sunset. My wings may be broken but I will not stop singing, living. Mahal kita pagibig ko sa iyo. Ikaw lamang ang pag-ibig sa aking buhay. At kung kailangan mo ako, makikita ko dito ay naghihintay. I will wait for you. My final closure.

Our Sunset taken 21st Oct 2007

DIRTY PAW & WET BLANKET -Chapter One

2009-08-05T11:23:00.001+08:00

CHAPTER ONE

She was scratching excessively and seemed unstoppable when she starts whilst making that weird sound. Yuki was having a bad case of eczema due her being a very sensitive pooch. The sound? Oh..well it sounded as if she was making chicken mushroom soup and the bubbling of the boiling soup was near similar, well to me anyway. I had to wake up to find out how she was. 3:00am, great. There goes my beauty rest, abruptly challenged. “Hi princess, you o.k?” as she wagged her tail in delight. I blindly made myself out of the bedroom towards the bathroom where I kept her skin spray. Poor Yuki, being a Japanese Spitz, still not being accustomed to being ‘naked’. The vet had to shave her beautiful, white long coat due to her skin problem. Spraying her back lightly and giving her a nice rub, I left my little Sinead O’Connor back to her slumber beside my bed. Not even bothering to wash my hands, I dozed off.

“Now the best place to go scuba diving in Greece is near the ..” Tit, tit, tit, tit……( I don’t mean one heap of breast).. The alarm went off. I was in Greece with my friend Romeo, scuba diving..muck diving to be exact. Damn, it was a dream. Funny how you tend to incorporate the sounds of your real surroundings into your dream. Remember how you also dreamt of having a pee in the loo and you are actually doing it in bed. Well, that’s another story. It was 5:00am and I have to catch a plane back to work. Opening the door, I braced myself as I knew the rest of the bunch would jump onto me. Rex was the first to jump and followed by the rest, Rocky, Sisqo & Angelo. Hell yeah, 5 dogs. They get extremely excited early in the mornings and then they’d run into the living as if they were looking for something. Rubbing my eyes and scratching my privates, I walked to the door to release the highly excited canines out to relieve themselves. I’ve trained them since they were small, house train them. It took me an average of 2 weeks to train them not to poo-poo and pee-pee in the house. The house smelt of a bad day at the public toilet then but things are much better now. Much, much better rather.

After getting made up and dressed, I woke Romeo up. He had no choice but to send me off to the airport that early. I thank him for being there to take care of the house and the dogs. Aren’t that what housemates are trained for? Bless him. Slamming the door shut, I headed to the check in counter and queued up behind a group of tourists, English. Southern accent. Hmm.. must be from Essex, London or Sussex probably. Having been in the British isle for over four years, I somehow thank my innate inquisitive self. I shared an apartment with a Scot and a scouser (a Liverpool guy). Inquisitive.. well checking out all the clubs and pubs in the whole bloody England is inquisitive right? A whole new perspective I guess. “Please God, don’t let me sit next to someone with bad BO, and I promise to be nice to people for the rest of the day.” That’s a routine I always do before boarding a plane. I’m not being discriminating towards people who believe in keeping their own environment as natural as possible. No, I’m not. I just happened to detest the yield of their so call believe! Oh come on people! Have you not heard or seen adverts of beautiful models slowly gliding their well waxed pits with deodorant? Do I need to purposely gag when you smell and sitting next to me? Do I need to waste my food by regurgitating in front of people and embarrass myself? Lindsay Lohan would have nodding with approval I suppose. Was she the bulimic one? I sat alone. God loves me! Thank you.

CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA

2009-05-17T23:15:00.009+08:00

I left KK on the 9th May 2009, and took a flight to KL. My flight to South Africa is at 1:20am.. The flight transit at Johannesburg. When we reached there it was 6am. I had like 2 hours sleep..Cool it was. Then we flew to Cape Town after 1:45 mins. Cape town is gorgeous! The houses namely are beautiful, reminds me of Bondi Beach, sydney. Must go back there.

We started at Table Mountain,..brilliant view and taking the cable car was an experience. Apparently it is one of the 3 fastest cable car in the world and daymn, was it fast! The best thing bout it was it also rotates from inside so everyone has equal chance to enjoy the view 360.

Then it was to a garden called Kirstenbosch for lunch. Ok lah..food not too bad. After that we headed to the hotel to check in..heard me right. I only checked in after 5pm. Later that night we had dinner. Then me and few friends decided to go to Camps Bay and party!! very nice..in fact ..fantastico! I was so dressed up that Jay Alexander from ANTM would have been proud but.. it was a beach party sunday and everyone was wearing casual..talk about feeling out of place. Man..

Day 2: We went to see some seals & penguins. I'm talking about real animals and not the singer Seal and Danny Devito.. although having them around would have made things more memorable. Anyway,..Seal Island is populated with over 50,000 seals,..that's a hell lot of handbags! And,.. apparently the Great White Shark's feeding ground..Yess!! But no... no sharks that day but the view was spectacular nevertheless. And yours truly got a chance to hug a big fat male seal named Pretty Boy.. a very furry boy I must say.

After that we're off to see Happy Feet! Yup..there were many penguins..I kinda find them really cute,..I love dogs more but they are a bunch of cuddles. So I took some shots of these cute, 12 inch animal.

Day 3: Game Reserve, Safari. We took a 2 hour drive to the game reserve to see the Big 5, Lion, Rhino, Elephant... Yes that was three becoz I couldn't remember the last 2..I believe they are Hippos and Zebra?? not too sure.

Day 4: The Winery..my favourite. I actually got tipsy by 2pm after doing the wine tasting. What a wonderful day it was.. The evning was a blast as we headed to Long Street,..where the bars & pubs are. We were recommended to go to club named Chrome. Imagine, oen shot cost about Rd 1.00, that's RM0.50 per hard liquor shot!!! Knowing me..I ordered 10 shots and got myself into much trouble. we danced hard and I ended up having my head suffocated between two heaps of mountainous African breast. I can't remember her name.

Day 5: Nursing a slight hangover..we left Cape Town around 7 am. With me having only 2 hours sleep. And to make things worse..I didn't even sleep in the plane. Watched, Red Cliff2, Ipman & a Korean movie called ESP Coules.. there you go.

I'M STILL SICK!

2009-04-19T22:24:00.003+08:00

Today I went to KB with Mesh becoz I'm trying so hard to fight this sickness. I am fever, flu, bad coughing and bodyaches since wednesday. My medication from the doctor has finished and I'm still having on & off fever, chills now and again. My cough was so bad that my throat bled and now it freaking hurts. After coming back from KB (ohh I bought honey..to soothe my throat)..we went to Donggongon to see the doctor again after having dinner. I had a nice chicken lihing soup..yuumm.. Apparently, the Tagal Festival was on today at Buhavan Square, so there were hundreds of people anxiously waitig or the Rainforest beauties to start parading their stuff. Then we met Mamai & Tom, also happened to be there too. Gogds was there too, busy snapping pictures.

Soon after, I went to see the doctor and told him that I'm still not well. Sure enough, I still have fever even after 4 days! He asked me a questioned which dreaded but was playing on my mind. "Are there any dengue/malaria cases at your place?" Daymn,..! Apparently, having on & off fever is a symptom of malaria!! Oh man! But he quicky assured me that having a cough may rule the disease out..but... if the sickness persist even after completion my second dose of medication, I need to go for a blood test. Shit! I hope I dont need to.

Well, going to bed now coz I'll be flying back to Sandakan tomorrow morning. But I'll be back again on wednesday..(Yes!) meeting 2 days. Then weekend will be aramai tii weekend..(need catching up to do).. Bye.

"Love For All, hatred To None"

Animal Moments

2009-03-18T15:39:00.001+08:00

NO MORE BEER

2009-03-14T09:54:00.005+08:00

No more alcoholic beverages for that matter. I thought I was in good control,sometimes we think we do but the fact is,the alcohol wins. I made the most horrible & disrecpectful remark to my closest friend,my best friend.

I believe our closest friends, our best buddies are like corals. Always take care of them and not destroy the relationship. Coz once it's destroyed then it may sometimes take time to heal..huhu... One simply remark can hurt so much.. I regret that so much.

Sure, the coke may make me grumpy but at least I'm not hurting anyone's feelings. So,I'm going to try my best and keep it off my system. Unless.... i am forgiven..truly forgiven than maybe I might drink... buli kah ni..?

No Shopping Mall in Sandakan

2009-03-12T09:41:00.008+08:00

Old colonial shoplots along Bandar Leila, Jalan Leila.

The only cinema complex in Sandakan, across my office & the only Bowling Center.

Bus Terminal in Sandakan Town.

New rows of shoplots in town.

Harbour Square Shopping Mall..?? Only cranes..no building yet.

Old town Sandakan.

Sandakan Town.

Can you believe it? I have been transferred (to work) in Sandakan coming to 3 years and yet I have not seen any shopping malls. I'm from Penampang, well actually my mom is from Sandakanand my dad is from Penampang but now we all live in Penampang..anyways,.. Even in Donggongon we have a huge shopping mall,the Mega Long Mall. If Musa Aman is reading this(as if..hahaha)..please do something. Sandakan apparently has a higher population than Penampang and yet we have one mall here. The Harbour Square in Sandakan Town is not even 1/4 done.. sian kan. Everyone here flocked Servay supermarket to buy their latest underwer, the best branded shirtlike EZ(Emmer Zecna),..oh yes,..Sandakan has that too..

Maybe that is why I'm bored in Sandakan coz I have no where to go on weekends. I have seen my cousins Ungah, Joruk & Lumbidong..the orang utans more than 3 times. Even they themselves are bored,..no wifi, no McD, No iceblended.. Ask Arteo,he is 'dying' in Beluran. But having said that, I go back to Penampang weekly because of my precious..my dogs..koupusan ku..giteewww.. As soon as I reach home they'll be jumping on me, nibbling my bits(hahaha..), licking my face etc. Those who are married with a husband or wife would be lucky enough to even get a hug & kiss from them after a week away, every week for 3 years.. That's why I love dogs. They do not judge and they will always remember your kindness, appreciate your presence.. no matter how sometimes you get mad at them, they forgive you within 3 seconds.. Now I'm missing my babies..huhuhu..Those who have dogs understands me well, Josie, Mesh, Tompok..they know.

Sea Food Ba Kut Teh- Bandar Nam Tung.

Sandakan Hotel - Dimsum

Dried/Salted Fish at Bandar Nam Tung/Tanah Merah.

Another famous Seafood Ba Kut Teh outlet at Bandar Nam Tung.

Anyway,..sidelined for a sec there.. So,Mr.CM..is Sandakan going to be the hometown you are going to be prouder of? Prouder because Sandakan does have Sepilok, Sukau, Kinabatangan, Gomantong caves, the Turtle Islands in Selingan..hmm what else. Oh, seafood Bak Kut Teh and crazy dimsum in Hotel Sandakan. Ask Stephany, sister of Lumis..in fact ask Lumis,we had breakfast there once. Now I'm hungry..jom makan dulu.

That's all for now I guess. Cheers..

Playing Tennis In Sandakan

2009-03-10T17:35:00.003+08:00

Back in Sandakan..and the only activity to keep me fit is tennis.But, will go to the gym as well. Maybe later I'll find Danny Malinggi if he's around...hmm... But didn't worked out that way.

I was already out driving out of my office's parking lot when I left my tennis racquet in my office. Looking at the rear view mirror,there was nothing as I, thought, I was the last one parked there not noticing my staff's car,a Kelisa. Guess what happened,I reversed back towards the main entrance and my staff reversed his car out and we collided. Bamm! My bumper's busted and my staff's Kelisa's taillamp was broken ..shit! Not really a bad accident but enough to cost me RM100 for a new tail lamp..f&*k!! I apologised to him and promised him a new lamp tomorrow.

I spent 10 minutes cursing myself for being careless,.anyway..I drove to Mile 2 Jalan Utara,Sandakan..to my tennis club. Changed my attire and started playing for an hour plus. Then after that I headed to Kompleks Indah Jaya at mile 4 tomy local gym. I didn't spend too much time there,maybe 45mins only as do not want to overworkmy body. I still need to go tomorrow.

After the gym,I ended up going to this burger stall, the best in Sandakan at Bandar Indah. I got two burger special at RM2.50. That's my dinner. I'msuch a pig.. I forgot all about the accident. Well it happened and there's nothing I can do to reverse it..live on junior.

Then I realised one of my housemate Zul, I call him Mr.Boxers,(coz he always wears boxers in the apartment)is no more there.. he was transferred back to KK. What about me!!?? I need a cigi ,..quick. But this Nicole Kidman's movie 'The Interpreter' distracted me from smoking.. Now I'm posting this blog,evidently the movie's ended. And so is this blog.. nite y'all.....ooohh,..didn't I say I was looking for Danny??

Touch My Body

2009-03-07T13:01:00.001+08:00

ootuuukkkoii....!!!

Vacation In Cebu,Philippines

2009-03-03T11:20:00.006+08:00

Date: 12th Feb - 15th Feb 2009. It was my first time in Cebu but it was great.I did some shopping, sightseeing, clubbing and the massage is damn cheap PHP200 (RM15)..

CLOSING...

2009-02-11T11:44:00.003+08:00

Vacation In Cebu, Philippines

2009-02-02T15:34:00.007+08:00

10 days to go!! I'll be going to Cebu, Philippines with my staff and Mesh coming along as well. We'll be going on the 12th Feb 2009.. yippee!! Can't wait coz me& Mesh will be going to Mactan Island to scuba dive. Funny enough,I have made calls upI haven't confirmed any yet. But surely are doing it. I suppose 2 dives would suffice.

Other than that we will be doing some sight seeing as well. Maybe see the Magellan Cross,Fort San Pedro, the city iself, Fuente Osmena etc. Definitely loads of pics. Night life,city lights, San Miguel here I come! So watch this space.

Tagged by Ham...

2009-01-30T09:34:00.002+08:00

RULES:
~ Bold the statements that are true for you. Italicise the statements that you wish are true. Leave the fibs alone. Then, tag 5 people to do the same test~

I miss somebody right now.
I love vacation.
I bake a cake.
I do not watch TV these days.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I am married.
I have tried marijuana.
I still love with my ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.
I have been in a threesome.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I have changed mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I curse.
I’m totally smart.
I’ve broken someone’s bones.
I’m paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I am a millionaire.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn’t survive without Caller ID.
I like the way I look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent.
I have a lot of friends.
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
Enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop than eat.
I don't hate anyone.
I am a pretty good dancer.
I love sex. hhahhahahaa...yes
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I’ve rejected someone before.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I’ve called the cops on a friend before.
I am not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I’m shy around members of the opposite sex.
I have made a move on a friend’s significant other or crush in the past.
I have tried alcohol before. ..are u crazy!!??
I own the South Park movie.
I would die for my best friend.
I love to chat (YM/MSN/etc..)
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I am happy at this moment.
I’m obsessed with girls.
I’m obsessed with boys.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I’ve ever met.
I study for tests most of the time.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I’m proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald’s restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I went college out of state.
I like sausages.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I can’t live without black eyeliner.
I don’t know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snake’s slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I’ve written in.
I can’t stick to a diet. I talk in my sleep.
I wear a toe ring.
I can’t stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I have kids.
I feel sad sometimes.
I’m an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I am an adrenaline junkie.
I love being happy.
I am on diet.

Sabahan MakeUp Artist_Part 1 Wedding

2009-01-29T09:34:00.009+08:00

I am going to be so 'hated' by several local makeup artist in Sabah,particularly in KK. I mean who am I to judge them right? Wrong! Everyone is judging them. My main question to them is, do you guys live in the year 2009? Ok let's say 2008? I am doing freelance photography and have been to weddings. But why,? Oh why? do all the brides look like as if they are ready to go to do a broadway musical or perform in a dramatic arts consert? Their makeups are horrendous.

Makeup & False eye lashes
What's up with the heavy eyeshadows, shaded contoured nose bridges, big false lashes (so 90's!)...Have you heard of low density false lashes or individual false lash? They willgive the brides a more natural looking lash. Did you know you guys are using almost the same cheap false lashes when it was first invented in 1916by D.W Griffith? or maybe not.But it is so 1960's.

Surf The Net for Latest Trend
I think these makeup artist should flip through some bridal magazines. Did you know that a wedding is suppose to be beautiful. Heavy makeup makes the bride look like 'the bride of Frankenstein!'. The trend started in 2005,where minimal,natural make up is the best wedding makeup. Don't get stuck in a time warp!

How make of us go to a wedding and cringed looking at the bride while saying 'OMG! what's with the heavy makeup?' We all do that all the time.. Next question would be, "who did the makeup?" then we responded "oh". Wake up guys!!!! Dark drown shadows, heavy eye shadows, coaled eyes, contoured nose bridge, false lashes,heavily lined lips are out!!

Natural Beauty vs Current style.
What's in? Natural,light makeup that accentuates the bride's natural beauty. That is high fashion! Remember, that her husband married her for how she looks naturally. Most husband got a bit shellshocked to see her made up bride of Frankenstein. Come on Sabahan makeup artist,.. start moving forward. The brides are not performers getting ready for a live show! Day makeup at the church should be light and natural. Evening dinner reception makeup should be,well,.. evening makeup, 'slightly' tronger hues shadows.. Guys..sometimes Less is More! Don't believe me... take the challenge. Do one sampe bridal makeup on the same girl; one with your normal heavy makeup & one with natural light makeup. Take both photos and see which one is bridal best.

Here are some photos of gorgeous bridal photos.

My Life Would Suck Without You_ Clarkson single's long leap sets chart record

2009-01-29T09:06:00.002+08:00

NEW YORK (Billboard) - Pop-rock singer Kelly Clarkson, the original "American Idol," will make history on this week's Billboard Hot 100 with the largest leap to No. 1 in the singles chart's 50-year history.

Her new single, "My Life Would Suck Without You," is set to rocket from No. 97 to the top rung after selling 280,000 digital downloads in its first week of availability. The new Hot 100 will be posted Thursday (January 29) on Billboard.com.

"My Life" introduces Clarkson's March 17 album, "All I Ever Wanted."

This is the second time she has set the record for largest jump to No. 1. She took her 2002 "American Idol" victory song, "A Moment Like This," from No. 52 to No. 1 on the chart dated October 5, 2002.

That feat was uncontested for nearly five years, until Maroon 5 soared from No. 64 to the peak with "Makes Me Wonder" in May 2007. The record has been broken four more times since, most recently by Britney Spears' "Womanizer," which leaped from No. 96.

"My Life" is Clarkson's first No. 1 since her debut single, though she has placed six other songs in the top 10, including the No. 2-peaking "Since U Been Gone" in April 2005.

Reuters/Billboard

Big Mouth!!

2009-01-19T12:26:00.001+08:00

OMG! this is crazy!!

Hunter's Lounge Karaoke Contest

2009-01-12T16:39:00.000+08:00

My Resolution

2009-01-06T10:20:00.003+08:00

So what's a Resolution?
1) The state or quality of being resolute; firm determination.
2) A resolving to do something.
3) A course of action determined or decided on.

I have made many of these stuffs back when I younger but nowadays, the last 3 years of my life I have decided not to have any, so to speak. 2009..I intend to live the best of my life! Believe it or not I decided to move out of my 'shell'. Things like, how I wanted to look good and look fitter and camera perfect. I wanted to update my handphone, buying a new one each year. To be in the limelight. To be seen intelligent. That was before. Now I just want to be healthy, to eat well, sleep well, detox myself when I can. I thank and appreciate GOD for giving me this body, the body that had withstand pain, hunger, fatigue, overeating, overdrinking, constant abuses etc. This body is mine and it has not failed me and I praise my body for having to bear with my overzealous needs in life.

2009, will be the year where I no longer have the need to look 'beautiful' for people to see, to look photo perfect... I just want to look healthy, be healthy, now. I recently cropped my hair and Mesh asked, 'why did you do it?' I'm somewhat more realistic & being practical, I think. It's so much easier to maintain it now. When we spend so much time getting made up for work, I believe it does resonate in our personality at the end of the day. I try not to make it as a religion. To me true religion is really living life; living with all your love, life & soul, with all one's goodness and righteousness. Sound fulfilling to me. Maybe no to some.

So, I'm not going to waste time on worrying about how I look like anymore. I look just fine. I'm not going to worry so much on getting a big fat belly. If I manage my food and enjoy my activities,..then I am fine. I'm not going to worry if my loved ones are giving me the right kind of love, the quality that it is expected by society.. as long as I give them mine,..then I am fine. If I spend enough time for those I love, things I cherish,..then I'm fine. Because time is but a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived.

Happy New Year all & have a wonderful time enjoying it...now that's my resolution!

My Christmas 2008

2009-01-04T11:32:00.004+08:00

We had our traditional Chrismas Eve family dinner on the 24th dec. Everyone, except my younger sister Adalita is in North carolina, USA was present. But we did a video conference so its not too bad. After that it's the traditional open of Xmas presents by the kids at midnight. On Christmas day, the 25th dec, for the first time ever my family members from my mom's side (mainly from Sandakan) came and a did a potluck BBQ from 3pm to midnight. yup,..my mom is from Sandakan. Imagine, my uncles got drunk and started arguing & fighting.. duuii.. After that someone started crying,..then my auntie cried..oh dear, alcohol makes some people cry I guess.. But me, my brother & my sisters went to my eldest sister's house in hungab for a quiet christmas dinner and left everyone at my family house. Relax sikit.. But I had too much vodka I guess.

New Year Party..Baila!!

2008-12-31T08:44:00.003+08:00

I'm looking forward for tonight's New Year party. Haven't done this fora very long time..mostly celebrated at a club or a pub. The theme is Wet & Wild Latin Party. I'll post some photos soon. Happy New Year all!!!

An Excerpt from Nelly's Site

2008-12-19T11:31:00.002+08:00

Kawan Baik
Bukannya senang nak cari kawan yang baik.
Bukan senang juga nak menjadi kawan yang baik.

Kawan yang baik tak pernah mengumpat di belakang kawan baiknya.
Kawan yang baik tak pernah cemburu dengan kejayaan kawan baiknya.
Sebaliknya kawan yang baiklah yang paling banyak membantu
kawan baiknya untuk mencapai kejayaan.

K awan yang baik tak pernah mempengaruhi kawan baiknya untuk
membuat perkara yang buruk dan sia-sia.
Kawan yang baik adalah orang yang selalu menasihati kawan baiknya
untuk berbuat kebaikan.

Kawan yang baik adalah orang pertama yang akan dicari bila tiba masa sedih atau gembira.
Kawan baik menjadi tempat kita meluahkan perasaan yang tak dapat diluahkan
kepada kawan biasa.

Kawan yang baik tak pernah memaksa kawan baiknya untuk sentiasa berada di sisinya.
Kawan yan g baik tak pernah melarang kawan baiknya untuk berkawan dengan
kawan yang baik. Kawan yang baik tak pernah cemburu jika kawan baiknya mempunyai ramai kawan baik, kerana kawan yang baik tahu apa yang paling baik untuk kawan baiknya.

Kawan yang baik akan sentiasa mendoakan kesejahteraan dan kebahagiaan kawan baiknya di dunia dan di akhirat di dalam doanya.

Kita adalah kawan yang baik jika kita faham bahawa kawan baik kita bukanlah
seorang yang sempurna. Kita adalah kawan yang baik jika kita menjadi kawan yang baik kepada k awan baik kita.

Kita bukanlah kawan yang baik jika kita tidak menghargai kawan baik kita,
kerana kawan yang baik akan sentiasa menghargai kawan baiknya.

Kita bukanlah kawan yang baik jika kita tidak memberitahu perkara yang baik kepada kawan baik kita, kerana kawan yang baik akan selalu menyampaikan perkara yang baik kepada kawan baiknya .

Kawan yang baik akan mem'post' kan buletin ini kepada kawan-kawannya, bukan kerana terpaksa, bukan kerana suka-suka, tetapi untuk dijadikan pedoman oleh kawan-kawannya supaya dapat menjadi kawan yang baik kepada kawan baiknya.

Dan kalau kita nak dapat kawan baik yang baik, kita mesti lebih dahulu menjadi seorang kawan yang baik...kepada kawan baik kita.

Dirty Paw Event & Photography

2008-12-17T17:03:00.004+08:00

Dear all, Mesh & Me have just set up a company specialising in photography, videos, editing, and of course event management. It's called Dirty Paw Event & Photography. The blogspot is still under construction and we hope it'll be up and running by end of the week. Cheers!
http://dirtypawep.blogspot.com

Thanks All

2008-12-14T17:54:00.002+08:00

To all my friends..Thanks! Love you all..

Cock & Bull Friday 12th Dec 08

2008-12-14T17:00:00.012+08:00

How to sum it up? It was simply brilliant! All my friends, O2C were there and mesh's colleagues, Freda & Fabian came along. We had enough to drink, ..heehehe.. Lawrence did some magic trick and it was cool. Cha sang my favourite song 'Warwick Avenue'. Tompok was first on the stage with 'No One'. Then we had Bobby doing "I'll Never Fall In Love Again'. And first time ever, Gidong was on stage to sing "If Tomorrow Never Comes', yeah Gidong! Bobby's cousin Mimi sang, Ollen also made an entrance on the stage as well as Freda (who celebrated her birthday on the 11th Dec.

Going To KL

2008-12-12T12:18:00.003+08:00

Hmm,..guess I'm to KL again this sunday for a 2-day training on monday & Tuesday.I'm not complaining but its just that everytime I fly back to KK from KLIA i will get surely get the flu.

My flight is leaving from Sandakan to KK at 2pm, its 12:30pm now. So I better get myself ready.I am actually tired ofall this flying to KK every week. When will it all stop. I guess when I am transfered back to KK, hopefully next year. I can say in this 2 years I have already have 300 hours of flying time. I'm tired of packing some of my stuff, check in at the counter, waiting at the lounge, waking up early morning to catch the 7am flight to work. I am just too tired. I also miss my loved ones,my dogs & my friends..

I do hope I can hang on for another 4-5 months. Otherwise,then I need to get a great job in KK. But it is not easy to find a company who pays as well as Toyota. Maybe KL? Maybe...hope I win the RM20 milloin jackpot.Now won't that be great!

How I Spend 10th Dec

2008-12-11T16:23:00.003+08:00

It's a not so good recording,..just a little diary how i spend my birthday yesterday. Went for drinking at night with Kawi & Lily.. back home trus tidur..zzzzz

Bakit Ngayon Ka Lang at D'Junction

2008-12-10T12:47:00.002+08:00

Thanks Newton forthe post. Those who were there at RGP08,know that I was a bit intoxicated singing this song. I couldn't remember all the words..daymn..all the red wine,whisky, beer & tequila! Bah..enjoy..hehehe..I did.

Another Of My Idol..Miss Houston!

2008-12-04T16:04:00.004+08:00

Whitney Houston is coming with her new albumentitled,"Undefeated". Watch this space. The video shows why no one comes even close to her vocal prowness.

RED GLAM Party 2008

2008-12-01T10:43:00.000+08:00

Its time to give back people! RM30 to help KASIH/Malaysian Aids Foundation. Plus you will get free food,drinks & loads of entertainment.

Another One of My Idols

2008-11-27T11:42:00.000+08:00

JENNIFER BEALS ~ The Brainy Beauty

When Flashdance came out, I was madly in love with her..crazy! I watched Flashdance like, 25 times!! I still do have the movie in DVD. Her beauty is gracious,a sense of intelligence and strength. Her acting, moving,classy & believable. Simply love her!

Intelligent and beautiful with a disarming smile, Jennifer Beals managed to exude both strength and tenderness in her work, making her one of the most relatable and talented actresses of her time. A pop-culture icon after her star-making debut as Alex Owens in Flashdance (1983), Beals weathered the backlash storm for having a dance double in the hit film. After disappearing off the radar for some time – perhaps spooked by her overnight “Flashdance” fame – Beals would eventually come back to the Hollywood fold and build an impressive, though less prolific, film career over the next 20 years. Her touching portrayal of lesbian workaholic Bette Porter on Showtime’s provocative drama “The L Word” (2004- ), instantly revitalized Beal’s career. Back in the spotlight 20 odd years after her early 1980s mega-stardom, Beals proved that she had staying power and the talent to stick around and do good, solid work.

Born Dec. 19, 1963 in Chicago, IL to Alfred Beals, an African-American grocery store owner, and Jeanne Cohen, a school teacher of Irish descent, Beals grew up in Chicago where she attended the Francis W. Parker School as a child. Suffering a tragedy at a young age, Beal’s father passed away when she was only 10. Pushing forward, Beals began to model and pursue film work as a teenager. At the age of 17, she caught the eye of producers on the film “My Bodyguard” (1980), who cast her in a small part; though it marked Beals’ film debut, her role went uncredited. Remaining focused on her studies, Beals enrolled at the prestigious Yale University where she studied English. She continued to audition for film roles while in college – and it was during a trip through Europe that she was first asked to go to New York to audition for this odd musical film directed by someone named Adrian Lyne, which sounded more like an extended MTV video than anything else.

Landing the lead role of Alex Owens, a welder who moonlights as an exotic dancer at night, Beals was catapulted instantly into stardom with the unbelievable success of “Flashdance.” Though reviews for the film were mixed, it made Beals not only a pop-culture icon, but a fashion trendsetter, as well – with her character’s off-the shoulder chopped sweatshirts becoming the “it” style of the early 1980s. Controversy hit soon after the film’s release, however, when it was revealed that Beals had not performed her own dance sequences in the film. Indeed, French actress Marine Jahan had doubled for many of the dance sequences in the film – even a young male break-dancer in a wig had done the last back spin during the famed audition scene. Upon closer inspection, fans noticed that a variety of ways were used to disguise Jahan from Beals – including strobe flashing, Kabuki white face paint, dark shadows and a bucket of water. Fans were angry and disappointed, but the film made boatloads of cash for Paramount and that was all that mattered. A still somewhat shell-shocked by fame Beals went on to star next in Franc Roddam’s Frankenstein re-working, “The Bride” (1985) opposite Sting. Unfortunately for Beals, the film did nothing to redeem her newly found stardom and the actress returned to Yale where she earned a BA in American Literature in 1987. She so firmly disappeared off the radar, it was as if a major star had never been born.

After returning to the screen in the 1988 film “Split Decisions,” Beals began sticking her toe back in the Hollywood pond, with supporting roles in “Vampire’s Kiss” (1989) opposite Nicholas Cage, and a role in new husband Alexandre Rockwell’s “Sons” (1989). Beals next portrayed the Dominican-American love interest of an aspiring director (Steve Buscemi) in Rockwell’s Sundance Grand Jury Prize Winner, “In the Soup” (1992) and went on to make her primetime television debut in 1992 on Aaron Spelling’s short-lived soap, “2000 Malibu Road” (CBS). Beals was next recommended by former Yale classmate David Duchovny for the female lead in the FOX sci-fi series, “The X-Files” (1993-2002), but producer Chris Carter decided to cast then unknown actress Gillian Anderson instead. Undeterred, Beals next appeared opposite Jennifer Jason Leigh in Alan Rudolph’s critically acclaimed take on the infamous wits of the Algonquin Round Table in “Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle” (1994) in which Beals gave a convincing portrayal of the neglected wife of humorist Robert Benchley (Campbell Scott). She next appeared as the woman caught up in a political scandal opposite Denzel Washington in the detective mystery “Devil in a Blue Dress” (1995). Beals reteamed once again with husband Rockwell in his segment of the independent collaboration “Four Rooms” (1995); off-screen however, the pair amicably ended their 10-year marriage.

Beals next appeared briefly in Whit Stillman’s ensemble independent film, “The Last Days of Disco” (1998) and went on to portray a bi-racial woman who finds out that her mother was a slave in Showtime’s Civil War-era “A House Divided” (2000). In 2001, Beals made a cameo in Jennifer Jason Leigh and Alan Cumming’s directorial debut, “The Anniversary Party.” Portraying a photographer in the film, Beals got the chance to showcase her own photographic eye – a number of her photos from the set of the film were later published in national magazines. She went on to land supporting roles in the critically acclaimed indie film “Roger Dodger” (2002) and opposite John Cusack in “Runaway Jury” (2003).

A turning point came for Beals in 2004 when she landed the role of Bette Porter on Showtime’s racy lesbian drama, “The L Word.” Portraying Bette Porter, a Yale educated, bi-racial art curator, Beals found herself back in the spotlight – 20 years after her high profile turn in “Flashdance.” The role also allowed Beals to explore a range of important topics – from homosexuality to being bi-racial – a subject that hit close to home with Beals and earned her a NAACP Image Award nomination. While working on the series, Beals continued to work in film, most notably in Takashi Shimizu’s horror sequel, “The Grudge 2” (2006).

Born: December 19, 1963 in Chicago, IllinoisJob Titles: Actor, ModelSignificant Others
Husband: Ken L. Dixon. married in 1999
Education
Yale College, Yale University, New Haven, Connecticut, American literature, 1987
The Goodman School of Drama at DePaul University, Chicago, Illinois
Professional Workshop, New York, New York
Milestones
1980 Uncredited film debut (bit part) in "My Bodyguard"
1983 Made film acting debut in the leading role of the hit musical drama "Flashdance"
1985 Co-starred with Sting in Franc Roddam's revisionist remake "The Bride"
1985 Played title role in "Cinderella" for Showtime's "Faerie Tale Theatre"
1988 First foreign film, Carlo Vanzini's "La Partita", with Faye Dunaway and Matthew Modine
1989 Initial collaboration with then-husband director Alexandre Rockwell, "Sons"
1992 Made TV series debut in a shortlived, "2000 Malibu Road" (CBS)
1992 Reteamed with Rockwell for "In the Soup", which won the Grand Jury Prize at the Sundance Film Festival
1992 TV-movie debut, Clive Donner's "Terror Stalks the Class Reunion" (syndicated)
1994 Played herself being approached by a rabid fan in Nanni Moretti's "Caro Diario"; Rockwell also appeared as himself
1994 Portrayed Gertrude Benchley in Alan Rudolph's "Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle"
1995 Acted in Rockwell's The Wrong Man episode of "Four Rooms", as well as in Quentin Tarrantino's The Man from Hollywood segment
1995 Had plum movie role as the femme fatale titular "The Devil in a Blue Dress"
1997 Portrayed a young mother deciding whether or not to abort a son who might be gay in Jonathan Tolin's "Twilight of the Golds" (Showtime)
1998 Appeared briefly in Whit Stillman's "The Last Days of Disco"
1998 Had recurring role on the ABC drama "Nothing Sacred"; episodes never aired
1998 Returned to dancing (ballroom this time) for "Let It Be Me" (Starz!); lensed in 1994 but never released when Savoy Pictures went bankrupt
1999 Starred opposite former boxer Ray 'Boom Boom' Mancini in TMC's "Body and Soul"
2000 Played Amanda Dickinson, the product of a bi-racial coupling in Showtime's fact-based drama "A House Divided"
2001 Appeared as Mrs. Gravotte in film version of Hemmingway's "After the Storm"
2001 Played a photographer in "The Anniversary Party"
2002 Appeared in the independent film "Roger Dodger"
2002 Co-starred in the TV miniseries "Anne Rice's The Feast of All Saints"
2003 Cast opposite John Cusack in "Runaway Jury," based on John Grisham's novel
2004 Played Bette in the lesbian themed Showtime drama "The L Word"
2006 Co-starred in "The Grudge 2" a sequel to the 2004 remake directed by Takashi Shimizu

Back At Office in Sandakan

2008-11-24T10:32:00.000+08:00

After just one day meeting in KK last Friday 21st Nov, I'm back now in Sandakan. Today is a good day coz I don't have so much work to clear from my table. Susah jugak jadi bos (not easy being a boss)..sometimes..Too many paper work, reports etc. Thank goodness I do have my secondliners to assist.

Anyway,I do hope to clear all these by noon so that I have time for other task. Must finish everything by 3p,m. No lunch till then. I have to wrap up the checklist for O2C members to organise the Red Glam Party on the 7th Dec...whew!!

TributeTo My Idol - The Late Mr Luther Vandross

2008-11-19T23:07:00.000+08:00

No one in this generation sings as good as he did.. When he died on the 1st July 2005, my heart stopped and cried for a day. This particular song is my old time favourite. Dance with my Father is next..it never fails to make me cry..

A suave crossover balladeer and meticulous pop craftsman whose impeccable phrasing, delicate articulation and romantic delivery were underscored by his extra–ordinary hitmaking talents as a songwriter, producer and arranger, Luther Vandross (1951-2005) was by every account THE most beloved R&B male vocalist of his generation. With a cumulative 20 gold, platinum and multi-platinum certifications in the U.S. alone (singles, albums, videos) and worldwide sales of more than 30 million albums, Luther’s impact on popular tastes has been second to none.

New House

2008-11-17T11:10:00.000+08:00

What can I say..I'm really excited with the idea of moving to my first own house at Taman Shangrila Country,Jalan Minintod, Kibabaig Penampang. I am currently staying at my family house,but renovated downstairs.

Ok, just to share bout the new house. Its a four bedroom house with three washrooms. Since Mesh is helping me to take care of Rex when I am in Sandakan,so he is now officially my housemate. Thanks Po..

One room will be converted into studio cum office & walk-in wardrobe. One room is for visitors. One is Mesh's room downstairs & of course master bedroom is mine. I have just finished buying some basic furnishing,living roomset,dining set & a giant wardrobe. I have also bought the lightings which cost me RM3,000!! I have to buy bedroom sets for all three rooms,washing machine, stove,fridge,airconds etc.. Oh,I hope to get the kitchen built in cabinets in also.

The bad news is, the developer WKLand(subsidiary of Wong Kwok)just informed me that the O.C will only be out by Chinese New Year 2009!! Looks like I will have to wait another 3 months before I can move in the new house. But looking on the good news, the developer has to pay 3 months of my progressive payment..yes!! And, this also gives me 3 months to save money to get the other goods in.

Photos by Mesh

2008-11-09T19:28:00.000+08:00

Hehehe...actually i'm not really that confident in taking potraits or close ups..but the lighting was great and i was in a great mood. Mesh toook some and I quite like these two.. hahaha..

My Life Part 1

2008-11-04T22:55:00.000+08:00

A lot of my photos when I was younger were damaged by the 1999 flood. Too bad. Otherwise I have a lot of baby pics to show you all...comel bah saya dulu. Sekarang..adui..nda comel sudah..

Me, when I was around 4 months old..

5 months I think...hmm. I'm the one with more hair (left).

2 year old at my uncle's house.

4 years old..at my old kampung house.

Ring bearer for my cousin June's wedding. I was 6 years old.

Form 3..aduh hitam nye..

16 years old..still hitam and kurus!

After form five..lepak at Sabah Flying Club. Friends from left Jonathan (Le Face Pub), Me, Danny, Andrew (Atama) & Jeffrey.

UITM. I was 19 years old. Diploma in Science. Me & Aziah Jasmine.

1993, I studied in Liverpool John Moores University. Holiday makan angin in London.

I worked in Brunei in 1997 - 1999, Riverview Hotel.

My birthday at BED Club, KK. 2001.

Japan 2002.

Backpacking in Sydney 2003.

Very Hot & dry India 2004.

Seoul, Korea. 2005.

Mabuhay Manila, 2005.

Accident. Dislocated collarbone. 28 stitches and 2 titanium rods. Operation at SMC. 3 hours operation in April 2007.

Patah bahu less than one month, terus go to Hong Kong..I was in pain the whole trip..May 2007.

Me & Mickey at HK Disneyland. 2007.

Halloween At TNGC 2008

2008-11-04T22:04:00.000+08:00

Broadband by Celcom

2008-10-28T13:06:00.000+08:00

Our office's wifi is still not connected,so terpaksalah pakai benda ni. Slower than wifi of course but at least I get connected to the outside world. Tapi mahal lah.. Sandakan price at RM449. Apa buli buat but the best thing is that it can be used anywhere, literally as long as ada phone signal. Not bad.

Back To Sandakan

2008-10-28T00:39:00.000+08:00

Well, I had a great weekend eventhough it was gloomy everyday..raining, and raining. After coming back from port Dickson for my course from Tuesday to Friday, I was glad to be be back home.

I'm looking forward for work funny enough tomorrow; flight's at 7:30am. Just finished getting ready. I'm damn tired now so, going to bed soon. But I'm looking forward for Halloween Party this friday though. My costume? It's going to be out of the ordinary that's for sure. Hint? I'll be in ghoulish black..hahahaha..

Bah.. hope to post more tomorrow.. bye,.. gudnite.

Dog Show

2008-10-20T22:31:00.000+08:00

Me & Rex after registration.

Rex being checked by judge.

All getting ready

Rex ready to go!

Dogs line up.. oohh? Where are we?

The winner! The Best Of The Show. Nice Golden Retriever.

Few pictures of Rex competing in the MKA Sabah Dog Show. Poor Rex he didn't win anything but we had loads of fun & experience!

MKA DOG SHOW, SABAH

2008-10-14T13:45:00.000+08:00

MKA(Malaysian Kennel Association) has organised a Dog Show to be held here in Sabah. I'm excited coz my Golden Retriever, Rexton James will be participating in the 1st Sabah Dog Show.

DATE: 19TH OCT 2008
TIME: 9:00AM ONWARDS
VENUE:KDCA PENAMPANG

There will be two international judges on that day with over 50 doggies will be at the show. There will be the competition (of course), obedience demonstration, K9 demonstration etc.

Rex will be in Group 6 (Retriever, Flushing Dogs, Water Dogs, Pointing Dogs), Intermediate (Age 15 - 24 months).

As a handler, I have to learn how to take Rex to Gait(trot), position myself when the judge move, e.g. if the judge stand in front of the dog, I have to kneel on the right side of the dog etc. Style pegang leash also must know. Dressing is also important.Hmmm..

Come join the fun to all dog lovers! There will be Fox terriers, Shizu,Dobermans,Beagles,Goldens, Labradors, German Shepards, Chow Chows, Chihuahuas, Rottweilers, Spaniels, Poodles etc,etc. I'm here for the fun only and not expectingmuch for me & Rex to win but just to gain experience. Never done this before..Nervous man!

Song For Rememberance

2008-10-09T18:51:00.001+08:00

Dedicated to my bestfriend Clarence, my Godmother & Mesh's Grandpa.

Mengenangmu di hari itu
Di saat ku masih bisa melihat senyumanmu
Meyapamu di pagi itu
Di saat ku masih bisa bercanda dan berbagi tawa

Namun kini kau telah pergi dan takkan kembali
Semoga kau dapatkan tempat terbaik
Di sisinya

(Chorus)
Bilakah kau bersedih bila kau menangis
Kan kuhapus tangisku asal kau bahagia
Dan bilakah kau kini telah disisinya
Kuharap kau disana tetap selalu tersenyum ceria

Namun kini kau telah pergi dan takkan kembali
Semoga kau dapat tempat terbaik
Di sisinya

Also..to my dog Bobbi.

Let It Be

2008-10-06T07:29:00.000+08:00

PLAY & READ

2:30am today, my godmother Felsy Wong died at Queen Elizabeth Hospital. She died of stroke. She was conscious till she arrived at the hospital, crying, worrying. After that she was in a coma for 8 days till she succumbed to stroke. She didn't tell anyone that she had high blood. I guess, that is a typical mother who doesn't want her family to worry. She was my uncle's (my dad's youngest brother) wife. When I was small, i stayed with them in Beaufort for a while. Then we came back to Kg Dabak, Penampang. We were close and still the closest of all families, cousins. I guess I have to come back to Penampang tomorrow for my last respects. A little something to listen and read.

This is my third loss this year, my dog, my bestfriend then my godmother..what a test. But I have accepted it.

8th October 2008

My godmother was laid to rest. Born 1945. She was 63 years old. Rest in Peace my sweet mommy Elsie. She was a dedicated, strong mother who has gone thick and thin, the best and worst. She perservered as a loving mother, grandmother, great grandmother and aunt. Like most mother, she put everyone elses welfare first instead of hers. Her love of her children kept her strong till the end. Wished I was as strong.

You will be remembered and loved always.

LET IT BE
When i find myself in times of trouble
Mother mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be. yeah
There will be an answer, let it be.

And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.

Let's Talk About SEX!

2008-10-05T22:20:00.000+08:00

Does your partner know what turns you on? Hey Sex is important in a relationship (to me anyway).. Being intimate keeps the flame burning and breaks down boundaries in a relationship. But if its just a one night stand, then there's no point. Just wham Bam! Thank you ma'am!

I believe that both partners must be willing to understand each others needs and respond to them. So, OK if your partner wants to have sex in full public viewing, I think our country and most in the world would not approve. But getting intimate in the living or bathroom turns him/her on, I think we should consider. We are afterall in a relationship. Some enjoy a nibble behind the neck, some rubbing or massage before having actual sex.. to get the engine warmed up so to speak.

Maybe it's our culture not wanting to let ourselves go a bit. But to me, if it doesn't hurt you or your partner, then go for it. Who knows you might just enjoy it too. but if it doesn't turn you on then talk to your partner. Do other stuffs.

Communicate and experiment. If your relationship is over 2 years, then sometimes you do it a bit of varieties. Otherwise, it's like having Chicken Rice everyday for 2 years. It could get a bit boring. Why not experiment on the dish and serve it differently. Oh you know what I mean! Well, if you love your partner that much, why not right? Give and Take does help too, other than communicate. But if talking is not your thing, then, oopsss.. there are going to be some very frequent lonely nights ahead. Bah, enjoy.

Hari Raya 2008

2008-10-05T22:12:00.000+08:00

So Ok, everyone is doing it. We go and visit our friends during the festive season and eat, eat and eat. Whew! The amount of meat I eat this week is equivalent to 1 months supply. I think, saya makan more than 60 cucuk satay in 3 visits only. Not alot but that's like eating 3 ekor ayam.. ooohh.. I know I say it too much, but I thank the weekdays as being my detox days. Anyway, to all my friends celebrating, Selamat hari Raya All!

New Song By David Archuleta

2008-09-30T13:22:00.000+08:00

Listen to his new single "Crush"

I'm Tagged by Nel

2008-09-30T13:06:00.000+08:00

1. Who tag me
Ms Cutey pie,Nelly Ho

2. Your relationship with her?
O2C Friend

3. My 5 impression od her?
i) Cute
ii) Quiet but naughty
iii) Funny bah pompuan ni
iv) Friendly
v) Ada saja kerja mau buat

4. Most Memorable Thing Done for me?
To be a friend,without being judgmental

5. Most memorable thing she said?
Hmmm..dalam YM,'Ling'..hehehhee suke lah

6. If she becomemy lover,I will
Take her Disneyland, kejar Mickey Mouse

7. If she become my lower, she has to improve on..
Making sweet time jaga anjing sy,kura2,ayam& itik

8. If she become an enemy,the reason is
Tidk jaga anjing, kura2,ayam & itik sy..hhahaha

9. The most desired thing I want to do to her is..
Take her to sungai Babagon,mandi-manda sambil cuci kain..

10. Overall impression of Nelly Ho..
Nice cute girl

11. How you think people around you will feel about you..
Crazy-buduh in a good sense.

12.The characters you love of yourself..
Always look the positive side..

13.The character i hate about mysself?
Hmm ..Mesh bilang sy kadang2 kelam kabut

14. Lain lain questions..sy panat..

Bye..

Philippines

2008-09-24T08:41:00.000+08:00

Bisuk Gi Manila!! Yeah

2008-09-16T16:21:00.000+08:00

So tomorrow Mesh, Arteo & Me are going to Manila for a long holiday. We'll be back on sunday. Konon mau detox but I guess, we'll be partying every single nite in Manila..aduuuhhh.. never mind. Next week, I'll make sure I'll do a full detox next week. Places we may visit:

Pagsanjan Falls: a 2-hour drive southeast of Manila passing through quaint provincial towns, ricefields and coconut plantations, you will reach one of the country’s prime attractions, the town of Pagsanjan. The highlight of the tour is the boatride on dug-out canoe up the river, amidst rising gorges and steep canyons covered with lush tropical vegetation, to a large waterfall and the thrill of a lifetime experience of “shooting the rapids” in breakneck downriver descent, expertly steered through swirling waters and tricky passes by brawny boatmen.

Hidden Valley, it’s as if time has stopped and the world outside does not exist - so peaceful and lovely is Hidden Valley, tucked away inside a 110-acre extinct volcano crater.

Cowboy Grill, corner of Mabini Street and Arquiza Street, Ermita, offers the typical roster of rock favourites with energy and panache. Live band where all the great bands and few local artiste sing. Ooohh..

Club Embassy - highly hoolabalooed Club Embassy at The Fort in Makati City. This is where the most beautiful people of Manila go on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights!

Oleng2 Circle

2008-09-16T16:09:00.000+08:00

Dear All, T-shirt ada 4 warna. Black, White, Light Blue & Red. Sizes are XS,S,M,L
Lumis is taking the XS. Me & Sumpit -S, Mesh ambil -M. Kalo mau, sila bagi sizes to Sumpit. The logo will be an embroidery white & silver. Harga satu RM25. Mau deposit RM10 ja. Thanks all.

Bored in the Office

2008-09-11T22:06:00.000+08:00

Its that timeof year where I have to complete next years budget, 2009. Damn loads of items and figures to key in from sales unit, expenses per item, manpower, salary, medical,general expenses, used car,model units aduuuhhhh! I have to complete all this by monday coz i'llbe leaving for Philippines on tuesday. Makan lunch pun terlupa. makan mooncake only.

Don't really know what to write. Macam no idea. Don''t really want to talk about my job. I leave everything at the office. Guess,I'll just look forward for the weekend on how to spend the next couple of days.

Into Mabul Soundtrack

2008-09-07T18:09:00.000+08:00

Naahh...yang dinanti-nantikan. Soundtrack Into Mabul 2008 Vol 1. Sapa mau booking awal2..Feature song including: The Sipadan Song, Without You, Zombie, I will Survive, Creep, Mr. Sandman, I want To hold Your Hand and many more.. Masih Panas!!

Fishing At Serusop

2008-09-07T11:18:00.000+08:00

"Sabas, ko sure betulkah tempat ni ada Manta Ray?" "Astaga Mesh, ko tidak percaya saya?" kata Sabas dengan penuh keyakinan. Disinilah dulu saya kena colek bapa Manta Ray bernama si Ungah.

So ok.. as if tidak cukup hitam lepas gi Sipadan, si PS ajak gi memancing pulak. Paling lama lah saya memancing (menunggu kehadiran ikan) adalah 15 minit. So this time, saya mau pecahkan rekod. Selepas berjam-jam menunggu.... cuma PS dan mesh dapat tangkap ikan. Aduh..

Officially End Sipadan-Mabul Holiday

2008-09-07T10:53:00.000+08:00

Josie smiling away..tapi mau tau..sakit tu bisuk!
Mesh, terkejut melihat kecantikan jari si Tompok!
Sabas, looking cool..maintain bro!
Gurls all smiles!!
OK, senyummm...!

There must be a closure. So we decided to end the holiday at Pusakag Cafe, Penampang. Tompok recovering from illness and Josie coming down with one. We even did 'Jamaica Farewell' just to keep the spirit burning..ceh wah! It was a good night and we ended it with a little tipsy and light headed.

Philippines

2008-09-06T23:12:00.000+08:00

So ok, I'm going there again for the 8th time..hahaha.. I simply love the hospitality. I haven't really decided what to do there. Since Arteo is coming this time, I guess we have to show him the Intramuros..pictures!! There'll only be three of us this tiime, Mesh, Arteo and yours truly. Again, we'll be staying at the Robelles House at Makati Avenue. Apart from shopping, we (hopefully) will be able to visit few places outside Manila. Maybe spend a night at Clarks - Subic bay - Manila . I really don't know. Night time , jangan ceritalah. Definitely party!!! Oleng2 pinoy style. When going? 17th Sept - 21st Sept. My worries now are the dogs. Sian dorang.

The Sipadan Song

2008-09-06T22:20:00.000+08:00

When we arrived at Uncle Chang's, we were greeted with so much enthusiasm it was unbelievable. The staff were playing the Sipadan Song (Jamaica Farewell- Harry Belafonte,1957), band and all. Cool! A slice of the song and the lyrics.

ENJOY!

THE SIPADAN SONG

There’s an island in the Celebes Sea,
The name’s Sipadan you must go and see,
If you’re a diver and you want the best,
Come go along and we’ll do the rest

Chorus:
Well I’m glad to say the Drop Off’s OK,
Barracuda Point is not far away,
Lobster Lairs is also there,
And The Hanging Garden is very rare

Divers down at the water side,
Looking at the drop with gaping eyes,
Wondering what’s there down below,
Is it Nobby Clark or is it Jacques Cousteau?

Chorus

There’s a turtle skeleton in the Turtle Cave,
You can go to see it if you’re feeling brave,
Dive right in until it ends
But don’t stay too long or you’ll get the bends

Chorus

White Tip Avenue and the Turtle Patch,
The Coral Garden – There is no match,
Soft coral, hard coral and the sea whips too,
Tropical fish to amaze you

Chorus

There’re so many places you may have seen,
The Caribbean Islands, the Coral Seas,
The Barrier Reef and the Maldives too,
But Sipadan Island now that’s something new

Chorus

Jacques Cousteau and “Calypso” came
“Oh Gee” micro paradise he did acclaim,
Divers in silver up and down the reef
Cameras clicking there was no relief

Chorus

Well…..Sad to say you’re leaving tomorrow,
Sipadan Island will be far away,
I know that when you leave her shore,
There’ll be memories in your heart forever more

Chorus

Mabul-Sipadan Holidays

2008-09-06T21:28:00.000+08:00

29th August - 2nd Sept 2008. 13 people went to Mabul and stayed at Uncle Chang's Resort. Let's just say we had a great time. Several memorable moments there:
1) Kupi bled, scrapped her legs.
2) I bled, sliced one of my toes on a barnacle at the jetty ( i jumped out fo the boat earlier coz mau kencing).
3) Me, Tompok rocked Uncle Chang's with teh band! Plus Mesh & Sabas contributed few songs too.
4) The dives - ooohh especially the one from Lobster lair where the current was ferocious!
5) Uncle Chang's place Rocks! Forget about 5 star accommodation, the hospitality and ambience was unforgetable. Thumbs up!

Since Mesh, Kupi and everyone have posted pictures, I'll just post a few pics/poster/music to commemorate the event.

Sipadan,.. yeaahh

2008-08-27T22:15:00.001+08:00

So oK, i'm excited again. Can't wait for the dives again. More pictures coming soon. Bye!!

Looking Good

2008-08-25T21:27:00.000+08:00

Wanna look cute like Anne Curtis, Filipina actress. (Perlukah kita nampak cantik macam ni?)
Or superfit like Marc Nelson. (aduh, perut aku!!)

And the gorgeous Kristin Hermosa

OK,..for the guys and gals. Are you one? the one who are worried about having extra baggage? Worry bout that fine wrinkle? Worry about getting old not so graciously? I keep on trying to tell myself not to worry bout it. But, when you watch a movie or flip through magazines, we are always 'presented' with an array of beautiful people in the planet. And know what, only 10% of the whole world population are considered beautiful and have fabulous body. Are you like me, influenced by vanity? Worrying about my waistline, getting crows feet, receding hairline, not that fit body and the list goes on. Hmm..I've tried not to think about it too much and just let nature takes it course but there's a little part of me telling me not to. Look, why do we want to look good or better than we are now? It's the mating game. We want to look for a mate. To do that, we must be beautiful? Do we? So now, I (publicly) announce that I will keep myself healthy, eat well, sleep well, play hard, enjoy hard..hehehe. But try (oh no!) not to get too overboard with pursuing the need to look like a freakin supermodel or a celebrity, coz I'm not..(yet) hahahhaha... Anyway, feast your eyes on these insanely beautiful, symmetrical, fit human beings. Enjoy. OMG, the ultra sexy Jessica Alba!
(kalaulah muka saya macam Dennis..Oh no!!)

Oleng Lagi

2008-08-24T19:08:00.000+08:00

Bah.. isi borang cepat!! hahhahahaha.. 20 ahli yang pertama akan dapat singlet 2nd hand, kasut adibas, tajau siopon kosong, satu set make up dari kalimatan dan kulit durian D24 ..semuanya percuma!!!

I'm an Uncle ..(again!)

2008-08-21T21:16:00.001+08:00

Yup, yesterday at 10:00am, my youngest sister, Bernardita (married to Roger Ortiz Gonzales of Uruguay) delivered a healthy baby boy, Thiago Balanjiu Ortiz. He is 50.5cm long??? and 3.7kg. Oh no! More christmas presents. When I get back home to Kk, I'll dedicate one post just for the little boy. Habislah budak ni. Have to teach him talk Kadazan, Malay, English, Tagalog and Spanish... Welcome to the world Thiago!

Persatuan Oleng-Oleng Sabah

2008-08-21T20:52:00.001+08:00

What are friends to me?
1) They are the ones who rides the bus with you. If it breaks down. Everyone pushes!
2) They are the ones who laughs with you when you are drunk
3) They are the ones who tease you on durians or takes pictures of food
4) They know all about you but still likes you
5) They know about your faults and loves you more. One who looks for a friend without faults will have none.
6) They show their love when you are in times of trouble

Enam saja lah for now... Love you guys!
"In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures."
-- Kahil Gibran

Sakit, Demam! Cilakak betul

2008-08-21T20:46:00.000+08:00

I went to office today feeling ok. No problem. Tapi, tiba2 after pukul 4 petang terasa sejuk. Badan trus rasa lemah ni.. pernah kah gitu? tiba2 ja. Now, hidung saya hebat berlari (runny nose), fever lagi tu..sialan tul! And tomorrow is friday, hari Oleng-Oleng sedunia!!! oh tidak!! Saya terpaksa makan Panadol. Harap2 bisuknya sihat. Oklah..biasanya urang bilang, kalau sakit minum banyak air. Isshh..terpaksalah. Kalau Chivas bulikah tu? :-)

Cebu..Jom

2008-08-20T21:40:00.000+08:00

As of today, to go to Cebu is:

KK - CEBU
Departure MH708: 9th Oct 2008 (Thursday)
Dep Time : 1:15pm
Arr Time : 3:00pm

CEBU-KK
Departure MH709: 12th Oct 2008 (Sunday)
Dep Time : 4:00pm
Arr Time : 5:50pm

Total Airfare: RM553 !!!!

So amacam??? Tempat tinggal ,..no problem. We stay at my uncles house..hahahaha.

Sipadan..Round Two

2008-08-20T21:04:00.000+08:00

So Ok, we are going to Sipadan again but its so worth it. Sesiapa yang nda pigi tu,..hahaha tu lah. Next time kita simpan duit sama2 for few months pas tu, sure everyone can go. Those has done the scuba diving for the first time like I did in July know that once you do Sipadan, anywhere else is not up to standard except for Palawan, Philippines and Manado, Sulawesi. Those who are scared of sharks, well, ikan yu disini tidak makan manusia lah. They are few, the White Tip, Black Tip, GreyReef etc. I swam with few and they were harmless. The last time we dived, they were at least 4 keliling kami. The divemaster said 'wah, untungnya kita hari ni, sebab banyak shark'. Later after I went up the boat, I noticed my shin was bleeding, kena corals. Patutlah banyak shark, they smelt my blood. Oopss.

I would love to go to Palawan next. Palawan is an island province of the Philippines located in the Western Visayas region. Its capital is Puerto Princesa City and it is the largest province in terms of land area. The islands of Palawan stretch from Mindoro to Borneo in the southwest. It lies between the South China Sea in the northwest and Sulu Sea in the southeast. The province is named after its largest island, Palawan Island.

Cantik oh tempat tu. Then I'd love to go to my mom's hometown, well, she was from Zamboanga City but my mom's family moved to Cebu. Cebu ni banyak campuran Sepanyol coz it was colonised by the Spanish centuries ago. My mom is a mestisa, kacukan Filipina-Sepanyol (sebelah datuk). That's why all my family members bernama sepanyol kecuali saya,Joseph....huhuhu. Anyway, saya dengar from my friends that kalau kamu pigi sana, sure tidak mau balik. So, kawan-kawan semua. Pray that I win the Toto Jackpot, RM14 million, semua kamu saya bawah melancung ke Cebu. Then we party like nobody business. Tidak dibenarkan baca buku disana...hahahhahaa.
The City of Cebu (Cebuano: Dakbayan sa Sugbo, Filipino: Lungsod ng Cebu) is the capital of Cebu in the Philippines and is an important metropolitan center in the country. The city lies on the eastern shore of the island of Cebu and is the first Spanish settlement in the country. It is the country's main domestic shipping hub and is home to more than 80% of the country's inter-island shipping companies. Cebu is also the main hub, outside of the capital, of international flights into the country and is the most important center of commerce, trade, and industry in the Visayas and Mindanao, the southern parts of the country. It is because of this and other important aspects that Cebu City is dubbed the Queen City of the South.

But for now,..kawan-kawan, I'm looking forward to go to Sipadan with all of you. Kita gempakkan Sipadan & Mabul. Kita snorkel dengan penuh perasaan. We suba dive macam ikan lumba-lumba. 10 days to go!! Yippeee...!!

Just For Laughs

2008-08-19T21:28:00.000+08:00

Bar Talk

2008-08-19T20:47:00.000+08:00

So, what do friends, group of friends normally talk about in a bar? When I was in U.K, I had to work with a Portugese-French company as a researcher whilst doing my PhD. Guess what do researchers i.e. scientist talk about? Yup the first 1 hour they were talking about work, their findings, stats etc, etc.. (yawn..boring). I grabbed my Greek friend (let's call her Tash) to the dance floor. She was more than happy to do so. However, after an hour or so, upon coming back to our table (yes,..we danced for an hour!..those were the days)..my colleagues were now talking about tits and asses!! Yes!! let's talk people. Now, are these the type of conversations these so called intelligent people talk about in bars, pubs or clubs? Oh yeah they do.

Another story in KL. My colleagues and their friends in Mont Kiara. A lawyer, an engineer and us managers. Professionals with degrees and masters degree sitting in a packed pub. And what do we talk about guys? Nope, we were not talking about work, not talking about this great book Brian read last weekend, nor did we talk about current affairs. We were talking about our bosses, tits, asses, how to get laid at the end of the night, clothes ,..etc etc. Are we bunch of idiots? Yes we are in a on-sober kinda sense. But are we stupid? You be the judge of it. I seriously believe that those who actually talk about statistics, how to improve the socio-economy of the country, in depth political affairs etc.. are idiots! Who in the right frame of mind would go to a social place like pubs or bars and talk about 'intelligent' stuff? A hypocrite probably..Geez! Imagine reading a newspaper or reading a book/novel in a pub or a karaoke with music blaring out loud and some fun people enjoying a good session of Elvis' My Way. To the general public, whoever is doing that is a moron. If you want to look intelligent, be one or look the part, go to a library for goodness sakes. Don't embarress yourself in public places like the pubs or bars. If you want to exert all this 'intelligent' vibes, for the love of God, do it at home in front of your PC. Otherwise, loosen up and have fun. Be a goof ball amongst your friends. The highest probability is that you'll make a fool of yourself with your goof ball friends and tomorrow everyone will laugh about it. It's not permanent for your information..hahahaa.

I enjoy going out with my group of friends. Mesh, Gidong, Josie, Tompok, Lumis, PS, Nel, Mamai, Donna, Arteo, Jason,Duffy, Gurangak, Bobby and others. Are we unintelligent? Hahaha,..intelligent enough to live life and enjoy each others company. Intelligent enough not to read newspapers in a pub.

Ooooh.. read this. Intelligence (also called intellect) is an umbrella term used to describe a property of the mind that encompasses many related abilities, such as the capacities to reason, to plan, to solve problems, to think abstractly, to comprehend ideas, to use language, and to learn. There are several ways to define intelligence. In some cases, intelligence may include traits such as creativity, personality, character, knowledge, or wisdom. Hahhaaa.. if you are the type who reads a newspaper or a novel/book in a rowdy, loud, dimmed lit pub or bar..you do not have 'the capacity to reason or comprehend ideas'.. You're not so intelligent after all. Furthermore, an intelligent person does not brag about his so called intelligence. Only a fool does that or someone with a condition called Inferior Complex (I'll talk about that in the future).

But to all my friends, my drinking buddies, my adventure any time, come lets play volleyball, my goof ball friends... you are loved. And most of all, we are no IDIOTS!

Entertainment News Today!

2008-08-19T20:26:00.000+08:00

David Archuleta Talked About His Current Single “Crush”Posted August 17th, 2008 by fashiongossip
David Archuleta is working on songs every chance he gets while on tour, though he doesn’t expect any of his own compositions to make it to the release. Still, he’s planning on pop songs similar to his current single, “Crush.”

The singer, who was wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with a peace sign that matched his bright hazel eyes, has improved tremendously in his conversational skills.
The “American Idol” star revealed: “There isn’t time to really focus on what will really represent me – that takes time. So I’m just experimenting a lot. I won’t limit myself.”
The 17-year-old singer also revealed that he is also learning about music history by studying radio charts, exclaiming: “I love charts!” He exclaimed with that cute grin that has melted millions of hearts.

Can Whitney Houston still sing?
The diva's voice is feared to have been weakened by crack cocaine

Thursday, 14 August 2008

Whitney Houston’s planning a dramatic comeback after 6 years out of the spotlight and the original diva hopes that her drug and relationship demons haven’t ruined her career for ever.

'She’s convinced that she’s still at the top of her game,' a source tells Now.

Snapped on 27 July at West Hollywood club Villa, Whitney, 45, looked happy with toyboy Ray J, 27, and onlookers said she didn’t touch any alcohol.

Her new track Like I Never Left has been leaked on to the web – and some forums suggest that her power vocals have been weakened by years of crack abuse.

One said: ‘It’s not bad, but it’s not good.’ The track was leaked ahead of plans for a new album this autumn and one of the album’s producers is Mark Ronson.

‘She’s got all the top producers involved,’ the source continues. ‘It just depends if her voice can cut it.’
>> But go have a listen her leaked track "Like I Never Left" in Youtube. Nice song! I quite like it. JR

Sedih...

2008-08-19T19:34:00.000+08:00

Walaupun dalam suasana yang boleh dikatakan ok, kadang-kadang ada masanya ataupun saat, rasakan seperti berjam dimana anda terasa 'sedih'. Padahal pada ketika itu anda tidaklah ada bergaduh dengan sesiapa mahupun mengalami keadaan 'stress' atau tension disebabkan kerjaya. Pernah? Hari ni, saya terasa terdapat sesuatu kesedihan yang saya belum pasti dapat saya selami, mengapa, apa... kekeliruan? Tidak juga. Tenang? Ya, memang pada saat ini, hati saya terasa tenang tetapi ada sesuatu yang tidak menyenangkan. Kesedihan kah itu? Macam juga, tetapi tidak teramat sangat hingga terlalu mengganggu perasaan namun sempat membuat ku berfikir..Hmm,..sudah lah. Kadang-kadang jika kita terlalu melayan perasaan, begitulah lah jadinya. Saya bukanlah seseorang yang negatif, sebab saya senantiasa merasakan walau apa pun yang negatif atau yang kurang baik telah berlaku, semestinya ada suatu kebaikan atau unsur positif disebaliknya.

Mungkin disebabkan saya jauh dari lubuk kasih? Tidak pernah saya nafikan walaupun seketika. Mungkinkah saya terlalu lama berapa di tempat yang jauh dari keluarga, yang tersayang, rumah dan kawan-kawan? Boleh dipertikaikan, namun apakan daya jika komitmen kepada kerja telah membawaku jauh dari tempat yang membawa keriangan, ketenteraman dan yang lebih penting, tempat yang membuatku terasa diperlukan. Cukuplah layanan hatiku pada hari ini... cukuplah untuk saat ini, tak ingin ku sesat dihati yang jadi penghalang kegembiraan.....

Relationships

2008-08-14T20:02:00.000+08:00

My ex used to say, "why are you making such a fuss on improving yourself or forcing yourself to do things with me? That's not really you and you don't seem or projecting an honest disposition. Don't be a fake!" Geezzz!! I've always believed that relationships sometimes need a bit of a workout. Not the Madonna kinda workout where you should run 4 miles a day and spend 1 hour in the gym. There's no relationship where both partner are so damn compatible and everything works. Example, if I may.. If you love to watch TV most days but your partner is somewhat a fitness freak. What do you do if you love him/her? Take a break from the TV and grab you running shoes that has probably not seen a pebble since George Bush won US the presidential election. Or worst, still have the price tag. Now, you tell me if that is being fake? To me it's a sign of your commitment to that relationship, your love of your partner to spend quality time. You are giving people! Being a giver is better than taking, no? I think so. But I seriously don't mind taking a new pair of Nike shirt I say at 1Borneo last weekend... ehem.. Those who don't, well,..here's a bottle of Clorox..drink it!

Whether you are in a boy-girl, girl-girl, boy-boy, boy-girl-boy (oopss ,..wrong script)..relationship. I guess they are all the same. If you take a shit and it smells, people,..listen. We are all the same. We all have freakin' smelly, God help me, eewwwww gross shit. If your shit smells of freshly cut grass or freshly ironed lemony smell shirt or of peach blossom in the early spring in beautiful Okinawa, overlooking a mountain with clear blue waterfall.. man! You are an alien! But if you are,..call me though. If your shit smells so good, I wanna see where it came out from...eeewwwww!!! Hahahaa... Pervert! "The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble."~ Ellen Degeneres.

So people..there's nothing wrong in changing a bit of your habits or your non-existing habit for the sake of your loved ones. So ok, you couldn't keep up with him/her on a 3 km run. But it'll be fun watching your partner slowing down just trying to help you rub your back while your throwing up in a nearby bush after just 5 minutes of running. Or, massaging your neck due to massive cramping because you were running like a camel in the Sahara, because you thought it would be fun doing that. Nope. Love him/her. Be a giver.

Your true love is who, When you make a fool of yourself, Don't believe that this condition is permanent.

Ciao!

Detox Week

2008-08-12T21:20:00.001+08:00

All that drinking in the past week is making me feel a bit weak. So i've decided to go on a detox..to flush out all the impurities and toxins out of the system..hahaha. I bet this weekend will be another boozin' day. But as long I keep myself healthy with exercises and good food during the wekday..hmmm.. Well guys, get yourself detoxed. Dunno if that'll help though. Drinking water provides the much needed hydrations to the cells and body as a whole. A certain amount of regular water intake can help you in more ways than one. Sweating is an essential part of the detoxification process. It is as essential as proper bowel movements. Sweat can change lipid Toxins into water soluble toxins and these water soluble toxins are then easily eliminated through the pores as Sweat. Hot, cold and Sweat baths open up the pores for smooth Sweating. So let's all go and exercise!! Cheers

Sungai Kibunut 3hb Ogos 2008

2008-08-05T00:07:00.001+08:00

Aktiviti - Beriadah, berkelah, bercanda dalam sungai dan aksi thriller!!

Pelakon2 - Nel, PS, Lumis, Gidong, Jason, Mesh, Sumpit & JR

Lokasi - Sunai Kibunut, Kibunut , Penampang

Port Dickson

2008-08-04T12:22:00.000+08:00

I haven't been to Port Dickson so I'm looking forward to it. I'll be having a 3 day course there, 5th-8th Aug. Hmm,..normally this kind of courses only makes you fat, breakfast, tea breaks,lunch... Leaving tomorrow..Hope to take some nice pics there.Bye for now.

Rex Swimming

2008-07-27T23:05:00.000+08:00

It's Rex's second time at the river. He was a bit apprehensive at first but he finally relaxed and i think he enjoyed the trip.

Hangover Remedies

2008-07-27T22:14:00.000+08:00

Guess what? I got totally wasted (again!!) last friday night out with my friends. They told me I sang Endless Love just before we call it a night and I couldn't remember!! To make things bad (not worse), I was totally off-key and sounded awful..hahahhaha.. Thank god I couldn't remember. The hangover unfortunately lasted till saturday night. I only felt better after 8pm ... daymn!! Anyway, just to share some tips to avoid a bad hangover like mine. I normally do this but last friday..well..I didn't.

Tips
1) This is mine- 1 tablespoon of honey before going out. 1 can of Gatorade during the session and at least 4 glasses of water in between. Then before going to bed - 2 tablespoons of honey. Or take 2-6 teaspoonfuls of honey every twenty minutes upon awaking, depending on the severity of the hangover. Continue with the honey until you start to feel better, then take four teaspoonsful with your first meal. The potassium in the honey helps counteract the effects of the alcohol and will decrease the cravings for it. Alcoholic drinks are acidic in reaction and satisfy your natural desire for an acid, the same as coffee and tea do. If you have an alcohol problem, check your body chemistry and make appropriate changes in diet and supplementation. In addition, honey contains fructose, a type of sugar that helps your body metabolize alcohol more quickly.

2) Evening primrose oil helps prevent hangovers. Take two teaspoons.
3) Bananas One of the quickest ways to cure a hangover is to make a banana milkshake sweetened with honey. The banana helps calm the stomach, and with the honey, builds up the depleted blood sugar levels. The milk soothes the stomach and rehydrates your system. Bananas are also rich in the important electrolytes, magnesium and potassium, which are severely depleted during heavy drinking

4)Water - drink loads!!

Weekend Break di Kg Oloson, Melalap

2008-07-21T22:44:00.000+08:00

OK, PS sudah simpan di blog dia, Si Gidong pun sudah jugak.. Now it's my turn. Enjoy All.

Sipadan Holidays

2008-07-21T22:18:00.001+08:00

Something From our Sipadan Holidays..enjoy! Still doing the longer version with the diving video..Hope to get it in my blog this weekend.. ciao!

Clarence 40 Days, Friends

2008-07-19T10:59:00.000+08:00

I have called you friends.
--John 15:15

Lord Jesus Christ,
while on earth you blessed me with so many friends,
good friends we have &
good friend like Clarence, we've lost along the way
You showed in this way that friendship
is one of life's great blessings.

Thank you for the friends that you have given me
to love me in spite of my failures and weaknesses,
and to enrich my life after your example.
Let me ever behave toward them
as you behaved toward your friends.

Bind us close together in you and enable us
to help one another on our earthly journey.

Amen.

Getting To Know Me

2008-07-19T10:36:00.000+08:00

Full Name: Joseph Bernard Dato Balanjiu Jr
Nick name: Junior or Joe
Kampung Name: Longkoboi
Age: 21 yo (many many years ago..hahhaha)
Height: 169cm
Weight: 68kg
Character: Love life, positive-attitude(always see the brighter side of things),honest (sometimes i tend to hurt people because of this), easy going, short fused when i'm behind the wheel (stupid driver!!!!),love to laugh,vain (sometimes, oklah..most times!), likes to listen to gossip (who doesn't especially if not about you...oops),don't get angry easily (angry=wrinkles causing agent!) .
Education: Diploma, Bsc(Hons), MSc & PhD(odoi..nda habis..panat belajar).
Fav colour: Blue & White
Fav drink: Ice Lemon tea
Fav food: Chinese, Italian, Japanese
Music: Soul, Funk, R&B, Fusion Jazz, Trip Hop, Rock and a little bit of classical
Music Idol: Whitney Houston, Luther Vandross, Brian Mcknight
Books: Anything from autobiographes to fiction
Passions: Music, dogs, tennis, keeping healthy,outdoor sports,friends, scuba diving,sex (who doesn't) & photography.
Love: 1) Family 2) My sweetheart (sorry dear for being number two) 3) Dogs 4) Career 5) Friends
Fav superhero: Spiderman
Fav Perfume: Armani Gio
Hates: Hypocrites, People who tells everyone that they are smart & intelligent (no one inteligent would broadcast that..you be the judge), lizards, animal abusers, people abuser.

But..before that

2008-07-17T00:32:00.000+08:00

Just to share out day out at Mungkosilad River, Moyog, Penampang.

Hello From Seaventures Resort

2008-07-13T07:50:00.000+08:00

We are just off Mabul,staying at Seaventures. It was an oil rigg coverted to a resort. Nice place,good food and great company. We had 2 dives yesterday 45mins in the first (house reef dive) and 49 mins the 2nd at Mabul. We were supposed to dive at Kapalai but another group went there first, daymn. Today,we are about to leave for Sipadan's Barracuda Point at 8:00 am.. oopss i have 5mins! I had so much for breakfast, need to 'clear off' before the dive.hehehe... Oh and Happy Birthday Mesh. His birthday today. Hopefully we'll get to see the whale some saw yesterday and maybe some dolphins too. Bye for now. Hope to come up with a vid at You Tube soon.

Blue Sandals

2008-07-07T21:58:00.000+08:00

Guess what guys. I'm still learning though, this thing call creative writing. I've started writing since last year but I stopped for a while as I was trying to compile 'reality' into writings. o,kalau ada masa,do visit it and do comment for further improvement.

Click Here to visit BLUE SANDALS

Goodbye Bobbi

2008-07-01T18:12:00.001+08:00

Rest in Peace my sweet Bobbi

Goodbye my sweet Bobbi Joe. He was 15 months old. So young..too young and and he died tragically of suffocation. "Wake up Bobbi, don't do this to me, please wake up". As I hit him. He was still warm, almost 'alive' looking. Tears swelling in my eyes, I caressed his lifeless body. Recalling back at 10:00am, we were having a ride together to the animal clinic. Bobbi was not feeling well. After the diagnosis and few jabs (he didn't even yelp), the doctor said he had gastric. On the way home I even lectured him to eat and stop being fussy with food. I dropped by at Donggongon to grab fried noodles and his favourite kai kiok (chicken legs). Little did I know it was to be our last trip in the car together. Bobbi loved car trips.. My sweet boy, you will be deeply missed by me & Mesh.

I will miss the 6:30am scratch at the door (never miss), the night barkings, you sleeping under the coffeetable at the TV room. You've never complained when it's bathing time. You've always let the others eat your food, you've never complained at all. I will miss you running out of the house and coming home dirty. I will miss taking you for evening walks with Rex. Miss you Bobbi Joe...and it hurts... Bye my friend, my baby.

Eventhough it hurts so much to accept the fact, but I realised that a mere dog like yourself was able to teach me of humbleness, to be mre caring and selfless, your caring character of always letting others eat your food and you asking for it later.

Can a dog teach us about being indiscriminate? Bobbi could. He was friendly to all the others regardless of their breed, something we all should learn, to love one another regardless of race, gender, age, educational background, colour etc.

Farewell my little guy...you are simply a burst of energy.

Lay In Peace, Bobbi Joe.

Mungkosilad River

2008-06-30T23:09:00.000+08:00

Sunday...OK, I might just get the spelling wrong but it sounded like that. It's located just after Babagon River, near Kg Moyog just at the foot of the hill going up to Gunung Mas. We did a semi wild goose chase to find this place but eventually we did. Right after we promised the local lady we'd buy her pineapples if she gave us directions. Well, we eventually found the place and it was worth the drive. Our journey started bright and sunny but soon as we reached Babagon, it poured buckets.

"Satu Ringgit" said the local guy, looked and smelt of locally brewed wine, Tumpung. Still raining, I rushed back to the car and grabbed RM3.00. Gidong was too hungry to make the 10 meter dash for cover, ended eating his chicken rice in the car. Mesh was first to reach there and to our surprise, they have 'pondoks' or huts. Sweet. Word of advise though. Please do not use any hair cream if you plan to go swimming in the river. I thought sweat and mud was trickling down my face. I could have sworn it tasted like something from the Asian Food Channel's Extreme Gourmet programme on thursday nights. "Dong, mari bawa tu makanan sana sebab ada pondok". So we carried our stuff and food, running frantically through the rain whilst me catching few glipmses of the tumpung served in half cut plastic bottles. Hmmm.. macam sadap but I was in no hurry to get myself all tipsy at 12 noon. And they greeted our arrival with a semi drunken sumazau. I felt to welcomed but when we left they were caught dancing again but they stopped soon after they saw us coming. So I new the the 'welcome dance' was not really for us after all. Well at least I knew how a celebrity felt like even for a moment..kavagu!

Two huts occupied with groups of people, a family at the far end and a bunch of teenagers nearest to us. The river was well kept, somewhat. Like a bunch of Smeagols from LOTR, the three of us ravaged the tapaus we bought, "my precious!!!" Hey we were hungry from driving and looking for the place. 5 minutes passed by, and we decided to move upstream to see what was in store for us. Lush greenery, beautiful fauna, crystal clear waters and small cute wild animals at the river bank sipping water. Aaahhhh.. Think Snow White & Walt Disney? Sorry, nope. We were greeted with milky tea coloured water. But the greenery was right though. No small cute animals as well except for two kampung dogs scavenging for leftovers. However, the landscape was rather nice. The rocks were smoothly chiselled by the flowing water, eau de naturale. So, the rest was history.. We waddled, swam, laughed and posed for 200 shots!! Tyra Banks would have been proud with some of our poses..hahahhaa.. After over an hour of fun, we finally decided to go home and Mother Nature decided to be funny. The river water suddenly turned clearer. Daymn. Nevertheless, we will definitely get the others to join the fun next time. Sweet. Ciao for now.

People Magazine

2008-06-29T17:57:00.000+08:00

Dear friends,..naah your friend has been nominated as one of the 100 most beautiful People on earth!!! hahahahhaa..... How I wish. But it's fun to play around though. Masuk bakul angkat sendiri.. but of course. If nobody's gonna tell you, you're special, then you'd better start telling yourself you are, coz we all are. Happy Sunday y'll. And wishing PS & Josie a great wonderful birthday.. muaaahh.